I'm probably the last guy who should be giving romantic advice but every so often somebody will ask me. Sure, I've done more laps around that block and had my heart broken more than they have, but does that really qualify me? I guess, ultimately, there is no right answer, I can only tell you what's worked for me.
I was on a steady losing streak for five years that left me emotionally scattered. What did I do in this damaged state? I met somebody new. After two and a half years, I crawled out of the ashes of that crash more sticky, broke and confused than ever. The only thing I knew for certain was that I never wanted to do that again. It was pretty easy at first, I was completely numb and then I was angry, finally I was just emotionally bankrupt.
The one thing that life has taught me is that friendship lasts, romance doesn't. The only problem with turning off your emotions is that sometimes the dam needs an overflow valve or it's likely to break. At first, I tried projecting these feelings onto a friend. She was there when I was coming down and she was sympathetic. She was also in a committed relationship so she was safe. As long as I kept my big mouth shut, things would be okay. I thought I had finally found a way to pick up the pieces and go home.
My next challenge came in the form of another friend. She really caught me off guard when she started expressing a more than friendly interest in yours truly. I gave it the old college try for a few weeks but in the end, I just couldn't do it. It just felt like lather, rinse, repeat and I had to decide if I wanted her to stick around as a friend or leave in a couple of months. Money and friends are the two things you can never have enough of.
Somewhere in the interim, I had another friendship flame out. This was a new one for me, an unknown variable. I now realized that I couldn't trust either romance or friendship to last. Shit, what was the point? It used to be the lady or the tiger, now I was fucked no matter what door I opened. Like Joshua in War Games, I learned that the only way to win in this situation was not to put myself in this situation. So now, there is nothing.
Remember what I said about that overflow valve? Mm hmm, like it or not, certain feelings are going to come to the surface no matter how many rocks you put in that burlap sack. I found a solution in the least likely place. This is where it gets tricky because I'm in a unique situation. Hopefully, you can find somebody like this or at least take something away from my situation.
There is this woman that I've kind of developed feelings for. She is the light to my darkness, the voice of reason to my insanity and the sweetness to my bitterness. She's even single. The best part of all is that she has no interest in being anything more than my friend. As long as I keep my big mouth shut and keep thinking with the big head, life will be good and I'll stay out of the bell tower.
So, I guess the best advice I can give anybody is to keep your eyes open, stay alert-stay alive, keep your mouth shut, find your opposite and make friends. True love is a myth. Nothing lasts that long anymore. You just have to decide what's worth keeping and what's worth cutting loose. Like I said before, it may not be a perfect system but it's working for me. There is no drama in my life and it feels good. Try it before you dismiss it, what do you have to lose?
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