The day was off to a good start. I had seven uninterrupted hours of sleep and the room wasn't cold when I climbed out from under the blankets. Breakfast consisted of my favorite cereal, yogurt and a Bloody Maria. When I arrived at my favorite coffee house, the barista had a smile on her face and clean mug in her hand awaiting my order.
I had a good internet connection and was hacking my way through the paper work jungle with my ink filled machete when I hit my first stumbling block...my pen runneth dry. Luckily, I was able to borrow a pen and make it to a good stopping point. Okay, I can deal with this, I still have my book. I didn't get as much work done as I was hoping to but I have a lot to read so this is just the universe telling me it's time to pick up the book.
At some point in the day, there was this woman who came in and was camping out as well. Pretty face, nice figure, sharp dresser, simple taste in coffee; a pleasant distraction between chapters. If you're waiting for me to say that we struck a conversation somewhere between James Patterson and Chris Radant, keep waiting, because at this point I'm still in the good part of my day.
You know you've been in the coffee shop too long when you can get twice as many refills than you're supposed to because the shift that sold you your first cup left a few hours ago. I didn't set out to bilk the system, it just sort of turned out that way. Where normally you get your first cup and a free refill, I think I had at least three. I kind of lost track after a while, like when you drink out of a keg.
By this point, I've been there longer than the employees and my ass is going numb like I've been in a cross country car ride. I pack my stuff and head to the grocery store to get a new pen. As I've written a lot through the ages, I've learned one thing-the medium point Paper Mate Write Bros. Grip pen is truly a gift from the Gods. If Harper Lee would have had one of these pens, she would have written more than one book. This is truly the Glenlivet of writing instruments. On a scale of 1 to Tori Black's legs, this is easily a 25.
The night wind blows across the cold pavement and into my face with a reality-like harshness. I just have to make it into the store, get the pen, and then I can go get dinner. Walking past the same old selection of books and magazines, I get to the stationary aisle. Ticonderoga number 2 pencils (might work for Stephen King but not for yours truly, of course, he does put out a book a year so maybe he's on to something) followed by the many flavors of Bic (for the most part, a fine instrument except for the erasable ink pens which smear the page when you write more than a grocery list) and finally, we get to the Paper Mate section.
There are the fancy retractables and the felt tips and the gel tips and even Sharpies. Suddenly, like a vision, it appears at the end of the rack. Write Bros. Grip, a pack of 10 for $1.95! I find the blue easily enough but it's not my thing. There is an empty hook with a sign over it that reads Write Bros Grip blk. I'm beginning to understand how Nicholson felt in As Good As It Gets when he went into the diner and Helen Hunt wasn't working. Who is responsible for this outrage? Bring the head of Alfredo Garcia and the son of a bitch who didn't order enough pens!
For about five seconds I seriously considered tracking down a manager and dragging the back room until they found my pens but having worked in a grocery store before I knew that what they had (or didn't have) on the shelf was all they had in the store. Now I was faced with a bigger problem, do I get 10 of the pens I want in the wrong color or two pens I don't want in the right color? After debating the problem for a couple of minutes and suppressing another urge to tear the back room apart, I settled on the Bic Cristal. It's not a bad pen and it's guaranteed to write the first time every time, but it doesn't feel as good in the hand as a Write Bros. Grip. At least I could get two for a buck o'three.
Thinking that the Universe was done with me for the day, I went out in search of food. I had developed a craving for some French toast, somebody probably mentioned it in a book. I knew just the spot and it was on the way home. I should have seen it coming but you just don't expect a 24 hour diner to be closed at 8:00 at night. Chubby's, open 24 hours, just not always in a row.
Looking to my right, I saw the golden arches. The clown is open 24 hours in a row, that greedy pimp bastard. I order by number since all of the employees have been conditioned to not think in words anymore. The burger was what it was, they haven't had good burgers in years. The salt lick, I mean, the fries were okay. For being the mecca of fries, it was a little disappointing. Have they always been that salty or is just because I haven't been in for a while? When did I turn into my dad on this matter? I do have to admit that the egg nog shake that I had been told about was pretty good. I had been led to believe that it was just this side of Manna from Heaven though, so again referring to the 1 to Tori Black's legs scale, it was about a 4.5.
The night ended on a fairly positive note though since I made it home without my car dying or anything of that nature and I saw my land lady whom I have not seen in so long, her hair was noticeably longer. If it wasn't for the internet, we'd probably have forgotten each others names by now.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Saturday, December 8, 2012
The Drunk Whisperer Off Duty
It's damn near 4 a.m., closing time. I've worked four days in a row dealing with humanity at it's basest level. I stepped into the little cafe expecting to be turned away but the girl behind the counter seems to be a nice person.
The Eggs Benedict is really good here and reasonably priced. Whenever I get a little extra money in my pocket and make it out of work in time, I like to indulge. Eggs Benedict, fried potatoes and coffee, a breakfast worthy of a British spy or an American bouncer.
There's a couple sitting at a table by the window and an old man sleeping at a table in the corner. He looks like he could be homeless. The girl behind the counter doesn't look as if she has it in her to wake him up and push him out. If he's still there when I'm done maybe I'll do it for her. Captain Fucking America at your service, ma'am.
He wakes up shortly after my food arrives. He says something incoherent that maybe sounds like a girls name. I think he's trying to summon the girl. A couple of bites later, he says it again. This time I make it out. Excuse me. He's talking to me. I look up and he asks me for the time. He has a thick lipped, Eastern European accent that's a little slurred. I tell him it's 3:50. 3:15? No, fifty, five zero. He's still confused. Ten minutes until four, I clarify. Good food, bad acoustics. The place is high ceilinged and all concrete and glass. The radio is at closing time level also.
He mutters something about the minute hand on his watch as he resets the time. I smile and nod and go back to eating. I don't want to be rude but dealing with people in a similar state for the past four days, I just want to eat in peace.
He starts talking again and I can only make out about every third word. Something about back home and family and community. I smile, nod and shovel hash browns into my face. I'll play the part of an attentive listener but not at the expense of warm food.
Smile, nod, shovel. This goes on until the plate is empty. Luckily, he doesn't seem to be asking questions, just rambling on about something. I kind of wish I could make out what he's saying because I'm always interested to hear about life in other places, especially foreign countries, but I'm just too tired to care. This will probably be me in twenty years. Homeless, incoherent and prattling on to anyone who'll listen. Shit, I already do that now sometimes just out of boredom.
He gets up and puts his coat on as I've finished my coffee. I want to beat him to the door before he gets a chance to ask me for a ride. Note to self-when you're homeless, don't be that guy that asks for rides.
I take my plate and cup to the counter as he asks the girl to help him with the zipper on his coat. I guess he's a regular since she seems to be expecting it. She thanks me for coming in and I respond with have a good night (even though it's really morning). She says thanks and he says you too, sir. That always fucks with me when people older than me call me sir. I understand it in customer service situations, but on the street? I'll never get used to it.
The Eggs Benedict is really good here and reasonably priced. Whenever I get a little extra money in my pocket and make it out of work in time, I like to indulge. Eggs Benedict, fried potatoes and coffee, a breakfast worthy of a British spy or an American bouncer.
There's a couple sitting at a table by the window and an old man sleeping at a table in the corner. He looks like he could be homeless. The girl behind the counter doesn't look as if she has it in her to wake him up and push him out. If he's still there when I'm done maybe I'll do it for her. Captain Fucking America at your service, ma'am.
He wakes up shortly after my food arrives. He says something incoherent that maybe sounds like a girls name. I think he's trying to summon the girl. A couple of bites later, he says it again. This time I make it out. Excuse me. He's talking to me. I look up and he asks me for the time. He has a thick lipped, Eastern European accent that's a little slurred. I tell him it's 3:50. 3:15? No, fifty, five zero. He's still confused. Ten minutes until four, I clarify. Good food, bad acoustics. The place is high ceilinged and all concrete and glass. The radio is at closing time level also.
He mutters something about the minute hand on his watch as he resets the time. I smile and nod and go back to eating. I don't want to be rude but dealing with people in a similar state for the past four days, I just want to eat in peace.
He starts talking again and I can only make out about every third word. Something about back home and family and community. I smile, nod and shovel hash browns into my face. I'll play the part of an attentive listener but not at the expense of warm food.
Smile, nod, shovel. This goes on until the plate is empty. Luckily, he doesn't seem to be asking questions, just rambling on about something. I kind of wish I could make out what he's saying because I'm always interested to hear about life in other places, especially foreign countries, but I'm just too tired to care. This will probably be me in twenty years. Homeless, incoherent and prattling on to anyone who'll listen. Shit, I already do that now sometimes just out of boredom.
He gets up and puts his coat on as I've finished my coffee. I want to beat him to the door before he gets a chance to ask me for a ride. Note to self-when you're homeless, don't be that guy that asks for rides.
I take my plate and cup to the counter as he asks the girl to help him with the zipper on his coat. I guess he's a regular since she seems to be expecting it. She thanks me for coming in and I respond with have a good night (even though it's really morning). She says thanks and he says you too, sir. That always fucks with me when people older than me call me sir. I understand it in customer service situations, but on the street? I'll never get used to it.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Notes Of A Drunk Whisperer
Working the side door can have it's moments of tedium and it can let you see the customers at their height of drunken hilarity but it can also give you a chance to meet people in a way that working the floor doesn't. Sometimes people just get tired or they're waiting for their friend to use the bathroom so they'll sit down on the stool next to mine. Some times they're obnoxious, other times they're just making a pit stop before they head out the door into the great American night. This past weekend pretty much ran the gauntlet of my fan club.
Girl number one, I'll call her H to avoid too much confusion but still protect the identities of the innocent, is the best example in recent history of what we'll call the grateful customer. Every door guy has a couple of these stories, the really creative wind up in Penthouse Forum, the honest tend to sound like this. I did a favor for a friend of hers. It had nothing to do with the fact that they were both very cute, it was a judgement call and they put up a better argument, I ruled in their favor. The friend wandered off toward the dance floor, she stuck around and offered to buy me drinks. I don't drink on duty so she improvised and kissed me. It was brief but appreciated. The priceless part of the evening came later when H and her two friends walked by on their way to the restroom. The first time I was dealing with somebody else so she just waved. I waved back and her friend that I hadn't seen yet got a confused look on her face. When they came back upstairs, H fist bumped me and the same friend is still looking confused. They made one more trip to the restroom and on each pass she high fived me. At this point, the confused friend (?) is looking somewhere between disgusted and appalled. The daggers being stared in my direction pretty much told me I was going home alone if she had anything to say about it.
Girl number two, J, is a different variation on the grateful customer. A purse had been turned into me by a woman returning from the restroom. I put it next to me and figured somebody would miss it eventually since there was a set of keys in it. Luckily there was also an i.d. About an hour or so later, these two women come walking up to me, well, to be fair, only one was walking, the other one kind of wobbled. The wobbly one with the empty hands pointed to the purse and said it was hers. I checked the i.d. to verify and handed it back to her. She was so relieved that she practically fell on me, kissing my cheeks numerous times. She was cute so it was fun but she was obviously a couple of shots past sober so I was just happy to get the purse back to her. She sat down on the stool next to me as her friend went downstairs. J then pulled the typical young girl move of trying to dissuade any interest on my part by telling me that her boyfriend would be so upset if she lost her purse. If she was a little more sober I would have either flagged the play or at least warned her that she was dating a gay man. Ladies, this story may work in high school or on anybody under 25 but you can't put the boogie-woogie over on the king of rock-n-roll. As a man, I'm here to tell you that your boyfriend doesn't care about what happens to your purse unless he's trying to accessorize himself properly. It's a purse. We may be sympathetic towards your loss and may even hang out with you as you replace your drivers license but at the end of the day, it's a purse, we don't care. Ever the product of her generation, she then pulled out her phone and became one with the internet. When her friend came back upstairs, they thanked me again and then left. They can be cute yet annoying at that age.
Girl number three, S, is a definite product of her generation but yet still inspires hope that they're not all brainless. S is in her mid 20's and a semi-regular. We first met when I was working side door a few months ago. She just sat down and started talking to me. I'm not sure if she was avoiding the people she was with or if I was just something shiny that grabbed her attention. We probably talked for about a half hour on different subjects. It was refreshing and passed the time. She's come in other times and always seems to check in. I don't think we've had a conversation that lasted less than ten minutes if I'm on side door. She always seems to show up when I least expect her to so it's a pleasant surprise when she's there. I used to feel like her dirty little secret because despite multiple times of her telling me she'd come see me again before she left, it never happened. I just smile and nod when she says this. She introduced me to her boyfriend the other night so I guess I'm not so dirty or secret. This encounter seemed to go better than the last one where they were making out on the dance floor until I walked by and she yells my name and gives me a big hug. We had a five minute conversation on her new job while he went in search of another Miller Lite. The kid has some strange priorities.
The other member of the drunk whisperer fan club is T. Early 20's, amazing legs, great ass and a radiant smile. You can usually find her with a drink in her hand and two to three friends in tow. She's another one that just sat down and started talking to me at the side door. She gets distracted easily but she's a nice person. By the end of our first conversation she was introducing me to her group as her best friend. She puts a spark of life into a dead evening when things are going slow.
Girl number one, I'll call her H to avoid too much confusion but still protect the identities of the innocent, is the best example in recent history of what we'll call the grateful customer. Every door guy has a couple of these stories, the really creative wind up in Penthouse Forum, the honest tend to sound like this. I did a favor for a friend of hers. It had nothing to do with the fact that they were both very cute, it was a judgement call and they put up a better argument, I ruled in their favor. The friend wandered off toward the dance floor, she stuck around and offered to buy me drinks. I don't drink on duty so she improvised and kissed me. It was brief but appreciated. The priceless part of the evening came later when H and her two friends walked by on their way to the restroom. The first time I was dealing with somebody else so she just waved. I waved back and her friend that I hadn't seen yet got a confused look on her face. When they came back upstairs, H fist bumped me and the same friend is still looking confused. They made one more trip to the restroom and on each pass she high fived me. At this point, the confused friend (?) is looking somewhere between disgusted and appalled. The daggers being stared in my direction pretty much told me I was going home alone if she had anything to say about it.
Girl number two, J, is a different variation on the grateful customer. A purse had been turned into me by a woman returning from the restroom. I put it next to me and figured somebody would miss it eventually since there was a set of keys in it. Luckily there was also an i.d. About an hour or so later, these two women come walking up to me, well, to be fair, only one was walking, the other one kind of wobbled. The wobbly one with the empty hands pointed to the purse and said it was hers. I checked the i.d. to verify and handed it back to her. She was so relieved that she practically fell on me, kissing my cheeks numerous times. She was cute so it was fun but she was obviously a couple of shots past sober so I was just happy to get the purse back to her. She sat down on the stool next to me as her friend went downstairs. J then pulled the typical young girl move of trying to dissuade any interest on my part by telling me that her boyfriend would be so upset if she lost her purse. If she was a little more sober I would have either flagged the play or at least warned her that she was dating a gay man. Ladies, this story may work in high school or on anybody under 25 but you can't put the boogie-woogie over on the king of rock-n-roll. As a man, I'm here to tell you that your boyfriend doesn't care about what happens to your purse unless he's trying to accessorize himself properly. It's a purse. We may be sympathetic towards your loss and may even hang out with you as you replace your drivers license but at the end of the day, it's a purse, we don't care. Ever the product of her generation, she then pulled out her phone and became one with the internet. When her friend came back upstairs, they thanked me again and then left. They can be cute yet annoying at that age.
Girl number three, S, is a definite product of her generation but yet still inspires hope that they're not all brainless. S is in her mid 20's and a semi-regular. We first met when I was working side door a few months ago. She just sat down and started talking to me. I'm not sure if she was avoiding the people she was with or if I was just something shiny that grabbed her attention. We probably talked for about a half hour on different subjects. It was refreshing and passed the time. She's come in other times and always seems to check in. I don't think we've had a conversation that lasted less than ten minutes if I'm on side door. She always seems to show up when I least expect her to so it's a pleasant surprise when she's there. I used to feel like her dirty little secret because despite multiple times of her telling me she'd come see me again before she left, it never happened. I just smile and nod when she says this. She introduced me to her boyfriend the other night so I guess I'm not so dirty or secret. This encounter seemed to go better than the last one where they were making out on the dance floor until I walked by and she yells my name and gives me a big hug. We had a five minute conversation on her new job while he went in search of another Miller Lite. The kid has some strange priorities.
The other member of the drunk whisperer fan club is T. Early 20's, amazing legs, great ass and a radiant smile. You can usually find her with a drink in her hand and two to three friends in tow. She's another one that just sat down and started talking to me at the side door. She gets distracted easily but she's a nice person. By the end of our first conversation she was introducing me to her group as her best friend. She puts a spark of life into a dead evening when things are going slow.
Friday, August 24, 2012
Notes Of A Drunk Whisperer
He who cannot be whispered must be backed down.
It was a typical slow Thursday, approaching the witching hour. The radio suddenly came to life with the managers voice. "Alex, get up to the deck, I need you." I felt a little like Bell's assistant as I hurried upstairs after telling the bartender to watch the door. I learned that there was a disturbance on my way up.
As I get to the deck, I see the other bouncer and the manager dealing with one of the patrons. I'm about to go over and see what's what when my path is suddenly blocked. The human obstruction is about 5'10, buzz hair cut, thick neck, barrel chest, uglier than me. Basically, he looked like that stereotype in movies that always hangs out in bars looking for a fight. He has a pint glass in one hand and he's staring at me, not blinking. "You lookin' fer me?" he asks in an accent I would eventually learn was Australian. I'm trying to look at the manager to see if I am looking for this guy. She's busy dealing with the first guy.
I'm at the wrong angle to try any kind of fancy grab the arm and twist kind of move. That's the great thing about drinkers is that they always have that arm out there. I lower my chin a little and set my left foot forward, pretending I'm trying to get by him. If I shift my weight and pop my neck I'll Metal Health this guy right in the bridge of the nose with my forehead. Using my momentum and surprise, I can also give him two open handed hits to the chest, pushing him backwards and giving me room to move. It may not be Marquist of Queensbury but it's fast and effective and I'm a little over matched so I have to take my advantage where I can.
I looked straight back at him, not blinking either, and said, "I got a call about somebody causing trouble up here, am I looking for you?" He must have figured out that it was easier to drink beer from inside the bar because a second later he took a step back and tried to look a little more sober. "That wasn't me, mate, try over there", he points across the deck with his chin. "I'll do that, thanks" I said. I talk to the manager, turns out I'm not looking for that guy. It was a disturbance of one and he's on his way out the door. Having already had to break up a fight and toss two drunken chuckle heads out, it was refreshing to only deal with one idiot. Everybody went back to drinking and I went back to filtering out the jail bait.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Notes Of A Drunk Whisperer
Blood & Piss: or misadventures at the side door.
Working the side door can be boring or interesting, it depends on the crowd. Most nights you can count on some interesting scenery but the more you drink, the more entertaining you become.
One night, there was a young man who pinballed his way down the stairs and then stopped in front of the storage closet. He tried to open it but found the door locked. He then proceeded to lean against the wall and wait for the door to open. After a few minutes, he was starting to shift his weight from foot to foot and became motivated to knock on the door. By this point there have been a few guys walking back to the stairs from the mens room. Finally, the guy standing outside the storage closet picks up on this and heads that way. After finishing up, he falls up the stairs twice at which point I just hold open the door for him and let him know it's time to go home.
A different night, there was a woman who dropped her glass and broke it. We were able to get it swept up fairly quickly but as she's standing out of the way, her friend notices she standing in a puddle of blood. It suddenly becomes very apparent that this woman has nicked an artery in her ankle. Luckily she can't feel it so she holds still while we administer first aid. After getting the bleeding to stop and bandaging her up, the manager sent her to the hospital. Luckily, it wasn't serious but it was amusing watching this woman turn in circles trying to figure out where the blood was coming from.
Working the side door can be boring or interesting, it depends on the crowd. Most nights you can count on some interesting scenery but the more you drink, the more entertaining you become.
One night, there was a young man who pinballed his way down the stairs and then stopped in front of the storage closet. He tried to open it but found the door locked. He then proceeded to lean against the wall and wait for the door to open. After a few minutes, he was starting to shift his weight from foot to foot and became motivated to knock on the door. By this point there have been a few guys walking back to the stairs from the mens room. Finally, the guy standing outside the storage closet picks up on this and heads that way. After finishing up, he falls up the stairs twice at which point I just hold open the door for him and let him know it's time to go home.
A different night, there was a woman who dropped her glass and broke it. We were able to get it swept up fairly quickly but as she's standing out of the way, her friend notices she standing in a puddle of blood. It suddenly becomes very apparent that this woman has nicked an artery in her ankle. Luckily she can't feel it so she holds still while we administer first aid. After getting the bleeding to stop and bandaging her up, the manager sent her to the hospital. Luckily, it wasn't serious but it was amusing watching this woman turn in circles trying to figure out where the blood was coming from.
You know you're alone when...
I'm driving home in the middle of the night when Search And Destroy by The Stooges comes on the local public radio station. I had a split second of surprise as I turned to the empty passenger seat. The good ol' days are over. I'll never know if she was really into the music or just a good actress. 23 hours and 56 minutes of most days I'm over and past it, but every so often, when you're all alone, that's when it hits with a vengeance.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Notes Of A Drunk Whisperer
He stood there, waiting for the server to return with his card. "How's your night going?" he asked. "Okay, kind of slow, though" I answered. We hadn't quite hit our prime time yet and the crowd was a little light. "How's yours going?" I asked for lack of anything else. "Pretty good. I'm out with this girl, it's our fourth date. Things are looking good. I was single for six years before her." Six? Is that all? Don't talk numbers with me kid, I'll make you cry. Poor, desperate sap. It was tempting to try to pass on some advice, but they never listen. "Good luck with that" I told him, why spoil his night, he'll have plenty of shit nights spent in bars soon enough. "Thanks" he said as the server returned with the card.
I was distracted momentarily by the servers shorts as she started making the rounds through her section. I didn't see the kid and his mystery date leave. Oh well, I've seen young love in action before and probably will again before closing time. The best you can hope for is that you don't get one that wants to twist the knife after she sinks it into your gut. Couldn't help but entertain a quick thought about what kind of person the server turned into after the fact. Was she a knife twister? Probably. She is the text book definition of feminine beauty but as Robert Palmer told us, a pretty face don't make no pretty heart. We talk about literature to pass the time at work, why spoil a good thing?
The crowd picked up some. Only had to deal with one drunk person and that didn't even require speaking. The guy staggered into me and I grabbed him to steady him. His buddy's came over to lead him back to the table and apologized profusely for his behavior. He sat down while they slammed their drinks. They picked up their friend and walked out the door in to the great American night. It was a fairly uneventful night but at least I got to see my friends from Lost Wax.
I was distracted momentarily by the servers shorts as she started making the rounds through her section. I didn't see the kid and his mystery date leave. Oh well, I've seen young love in action before and probably will again before closing time. The best you can hope for is that you don't get one that wants to twist the knife after she sinks it into your gut. Couldn't help but entertain a quick thought about what kind of person the server turned into after the fact. Was she a knife twister? Probably. She is the text book definition of feminine beauty but as Robert Palmer told us, a pretty face don't make no pretty heart. We talk about literature to pass the time at work, why spoil a good thing?
The crowd picked up some. Only had to deal with one drunk person and that didn't even require speaking. The guy staggered into me and I grabbed him to steady him. His buddy's came over to lead him back to the table and apologized profusely for his behavior. He sat down while they slammed their drinks. They picked up their friend and walked out the door in to the great American night. It was a fairly uneventful night but at least I got to see my friends from Lost Wax.
Monday, August 6, 2012
Notes Of A Drunk Whisperer
Friday nights can be interesting. It was the first Friday of the month so I didn't anticipate a lot of business. We were baby bear for the night. I alternated between the side door and the dance floor. It's amazing how many people had the extra mustard on their retard sandwiches.
The side door was amusing with how many people can be cautious going down the stairs to the bathrooms but then trip and fall on their way up being just as careful. Sometimes on the side door, people will sit down and hang out for a few minutes. It's a nice break from the boredom to hear about somebody else's night.
The dance floor gets entertaining on a sociological level. This particular night, I had two women to watch. If I position myself on the far side of the room, I can see the dance floor and the bar so no matter where rowdiness rears it's ugly head, I can be there to show it to the door.
On the bar side was a woman who was wearing a green dress with white stripes hanging out with a friend who was wearing a grey blouse and a print skirt. They seemed to just be talking among themselves, minding their own business. A guy would pass by the two and want to approach but then get intimidated and move on. This went on for a while. I'd walk around on glass patrol, do a trash or bottle run, take up my position and those two would still be there. Eventually, grey blouse was approached by a male acquaintance. Introductions were made and the conversations started back up. It was just a matter of time before grey blouse and the guy would start holding their own conversation and green dress would just have the music and her rum and Coke for company.
The three of them moved over to the dance floor side and that's when the games began. It's always interesting to see the natural selection process unfold. Despite five or six contestants in the game of come home with me tonight, green dress didn't make a connection. Some were obvious rejections, a couple of them were trying too hard and a couple of others were so stereotypical of the kind of guy you see women like that wind up with that I was surprised to see them walk away empty handed. I would say that it was refreshing to see a woman who wasn't full of alcohol and bad decisions but in reality she probably already had a man and was just out for the night with her friend playing wing man.
In between trash runs and when things were slowing down on the bar side, there was a group of four women on the dance floor side that made for good people watching. There was one in particular that would have stood out regardless but in the crowd she was with, she might as well have hung a neon sign around her neck. Wearing heels, she was easily six feet tall which put her literally head and shoulders above everybody else in the group. She had long legs and a short skirt. When Dorothy Parker said that men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses, she obviously had not met this girl. She definitely had the all this and brains too vibe working for her.
If you thought two women intimidated guys, by the time you double that those light beer drinking rugged individualists had no idea what to do with themselves. They'd try going in tandem, waiting for one to go to the bar to divide and conquer. Guys were getting shot down like clay pigeons. It was amusing up to a point but that night I was kind of curious to see just what kind of guy either of these two women would go for. All things considered, I guess it's better to go home with unsatisfied morbid curiosity than a case of blue balls like the leg humpers.
The side door was amusing with how many people can be cautious going down the stairs to the bathrooms but then trip and fall on their way up being just as careful. Sometimes on the side door, people will sit down and hang out for a few minutes. It's a nice break from the boredom to hear about somebody else's night.
The dance floor gets entertaining on a sociological level. This particular night, I had two women to watch. If I position myself on the far side of the room, I can see the dance floor and the bar so no matter where rowdiness rears it's ugly head, I can be there to show it to the door.
On the bar side was a woman who was wearing a green dress with white stripes hanging out with a friend who was wearing a grey blouse and a print skirt. They seemed to just be talking among themselves, minding their own business. A guy would pass by the two and want to approach but then get intimidated and move on. This went on for a while. I'd walk around on glass patrol, do a trash or bottle run, take up my position and those two would still be there. Eventually, grey blouse was approached by a male acquaintance. Introductions were made and the conversations started back up. It was just a matter of time before grey blouse and the guy would start holding their own conversation and green dress would just have the music and her rum and Coke for company.
The three of them moved over to the dance floor side and that's when the games began. It's always interesting to see the natural selection process unfold. Despite five or six contestants in the game of come home with me tonight, green dress didn't make a connection. Some were obvious rejections, a couple of them were trying too hard and a couple of others were so stereotypical of the kind of guy you see women like that wind up with that I was surprised to see them walk away empty handed. I would say that it was refreshing to see a woman who wasn't full of alcohol and bad decisions but in reality she probably already had a man and was just out for the night with her friend playing wing man.
In between trash runs and when things were slowing down on the bar side, there was a group of four women on the dance floor side that made for good people watching. There was one in particular that would have stood out regardless but in the crowd she was with, she might as well have hung a neon sign around her neck. Wearing heels, she was easily six feet tall which put her literally head and shoulders above everybody else in the group. She had long legs and a short skirt. When Dorothy Parker said that men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses, she obviously had not met this girl. She definitely had the all this and brains too vibe working for her.
If you thought two women intimidated guys, by the time you double that those light beer drinking rugged individualists had no idea what to do with themselves. They'd try going in tandem, waiting for one to go to the bar to divide and conquer. Guys were getting shot down like clay pigeons. It was amusing up to a point but that night I was kind of curious to see just what kind of guy either of these two women would go for. All things considered, I guess it's better to go home with unsatisfied morbid curiosity than a case of blue balls like the leg humpers.
Friday, August 3, 2012
Notes Of A Drunk Whisperer
I work at an Irish pub as a drunk whisperer. Dealing with drunk people just seems to be a skill I've acquired in this crazy little thing called life. Some of my co-workers seem to vent their frustrations or maybe they're just looking for a fight. They're young and haven't gotten it out of their system yet. Personally, I just don't feel the need to yell and manhandle some dumb soul who's biggest sin is not knowing their limitations.
Most of the time I can handle an individual with a stern look. They know they're fucking up, they just need me to come in and tell them. It's the whole negative attention thing. They get loud and belligerent until you notice them and then they get passive and head for the door.
There are the exceptions that have no idea where they are or why you're making them leave. Shoulders are natures steering wheel for the human. You can hold them up, keep them balanced and make sure they head for the door. No muss, no fuss. Sometimes when they're out on the sidewalk, they'll want to play 20 questions, "what did I do?" "why am I out here?" "how come I can't come back in?" At this point it becomes a little like breaking news to a trauma patient. "you're drunk, you need to go home, drink some water and go to bed" will usually work. If they're aggressively ignorant and keep trying to re-enter the bar, you just have to tell them that they're not getting back in. Don't growl it like a threat but just state it as fact. Threats get the ego riled up and now they can't leave without making a big show. Facts define the options.
Most of the time I can handle an individual with a stern look. They know they're fucking up, they just need me to come in and tell them. It's the whole negative attention thing. They get loud and belligerent until you notice them and then they get passive and head for the door.
There are the exceptions that have no idea where they are or why you're making them leave. Shoulders are natures steering wheel for the human. You can hold them up, keep them balanced and make sure they head for the door. No muss, no fuss. Sometimes when they're out on the sidewalk, they'll want to play 20 questions, "what did I do?" "why am I out here?" "how come I can't come back in?" At this point it becomes a little like breaking news to a trauma patient. "you're drunk, you need to go home, drink some water and go to bed" will usually work. If they're aggressively ignorant and keep trying to re-enter the bar, you just have to tell them that they're not getting back in. Don't growl it like a threat but just state it as fact. Threats get the ego riled up and now they can't leave without making a big show. Facts define the options.
Life In The Hole
Back in the hole. I hate the hole. I either feel nothing or it's rage and anger. So tired of it all. I've always felt like I served some kind of purpose in the world but now I'm just another piece of meat taking up space. Nobody will miss me for long when I'm gone. Work will replace me. I'm easily replaceable. I'll just be one less phone call to return or one less post to read. Nobody wants to hire me or fuck me or talk to me. On a good day they'll look at me. I've lived in the hole for too long.
Oddly enough, the hole didn't break my spirit. It was after I escaped. Life outside the hole was good. No hatred. No anger. No alienation. You can take the man out of the hole but after 18 years, you'll never take the hole out of the man. After the lies and the pain, you'll never be able to take the man out of the hole either. There's only one way to escape the hole. The dead are fortunate.
Oddly enough, the hole didn't break my spirit. It was after I escaped. Life outside the hole was good. No hatred. No anger. No alienation. You can take the man out of the hole but after 18 years, you'll never take the hole out of the man. After the lies and the pain, you'll never be able to take the man out of the hole either. There's only one way to escape the hole. The dead are fortunate.
Friday, July 20, 2012
The Body Is Willing...The Spirit Is Broken
He sat in the
back of the coffee shop, reading a McMurtry novel to escape the heat and pass
the time. As interesting as the cattle drive was, something made him look up.
She stood at the
counter and all he could see was the back of the blue-green dress that exposed
her shoulders and fell to the middle of her thighs. Her light brown hair was
pulled back into a pony tail. She was slender of build and for whatever reason
captivated him.
He found himself
staring so his eyes returned to the page. Cattle, horses, cowboys. She had
turned around and faced the shop. Not what some would consider a classic beauty
but very easy on the eyes. Pretty.
The man watched
her move with a kind of grace towards the back where the available tables were.
As she made her way up the steps that broke up the shop, his eyes worked their
way down her slim frame. Her tanned skin exposed by the summer dress was smooth
and unblemished. Her breasts just the right size for her build. Her hips were
close and her legs were slender.
He considered
himself a leg man. Hers were average. She made up for it with her choice of
footwear. A tan Victorian style shoe that came just a little higher than the
average high top sneaker. They laced up the front but zipped on the side. She
wore them unzipped with the laces wrapped around mid-shoe. He had always
appreciated that style of shoe on a woman but had never seen them with a one
inch heel or worn in such a way before. She suddenly became unique.
He was still
looking at her as she approached the table next to his. She met his gaze for a
moment. He wanted to smile, give a friendly salutation, something, anything to
keep her attention now that he had it. He looked back down; cattle, horses,
cowboys, dumb ass.
She sat down and
started reading a paperback novel, sipping her iced coffee. He was trying to
focus on something about renegade Indians when she turned slightly and her
tanned leg came into view. Renegade In-thigh. Cattle dri-calf. Cowb-shoulders.
The rolling prair-gentle slope of her neck. A page and a half later and he had
no idea what he’d read.
He felt like a
lecherous voyeur just sitting there past the point of distraction. He wanted to
open his mouth and use his words. No stranger to rejection, he knew the worst
she could say was no. Seeing she was reading, he convinced himself that he was
waiting for an opening so as not to disturb her. He really knew that the worst
she could say was yes.
Searching for a new excuse, he flashed on the reason of why women like
that read in coffee shops. As if on cue, the woman in the blue-green dress was
greeted by a plain looking blond woman. Her friend apologized for keeping her
waiting and hoped she hadn’t been there long. The woman in the blue-green dress
made no complaint as she grabbed her drink and they walked toward the door. The
admiration of her graceful exit was the mans only consolation of a missed
opportunity.
Monday, June 25, 2012
God Bless America
I'm going to share something with you that will probably scare you away from this movie. Don't let it. If I can overcome this, so can you. Are you ready? Here it comes-written and directed by Bobcat Goldthwait. Now, before you start getting all dismissive, remember, this is the guy who did World's Greatest Dad. He's come a long way since Shakes The Clown. This movie has an amazing script and is very funny.
Joel Murray plays a total sad sack who is fed up with the state of things in the world. Since he has a brain tumor and will die shortly anyway, he decides to do something about it and starts killing people he feels contribute more to the problem than the solution. Along the way, he picks up Roxy, a spirited high school girl who shares his dream of reshaping society. Trust me on this folks, I've seen it twice and I'm here to say that it is awesome and you should see it.
Joel Murray plays a total sad sack who is fed up with the state of things in the world. Since he has a brain tumor and will die shortly anyway, he decides to do something about it and starts killing people he feels contribute more to the problem than the solution. Along the way, he picks up Roxy, a spirited high school girl who shares his dream of reshaping society. Trust me on this folks, I've seen it twice and I'm here to say that it is awesome and you should see it.
Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World
Lorene Scafaria makes her directorial debut with this movie. She also wrote it. Steve Carell and Kiera Knightly star in this dark comedy about the last few weeks on Earth before a meteor collides and takes us out. Carell is seeking out a high school flame and Knightly is his neighbor who tags along for the ride on the off chance he can find her a plane to get home.
I was impressed with the fact that they didn't wimp out on the ending because that's important with a story like this. Granted, they set up a really cool scene and then went back on itself but you can pretty much forgive it. It's in theaters now and if you ca make it, go. This will probably be the best movie you see until mid July.
I was impressed with the fact that they didn't wimp out on the ending because that's important with a story like this. Granted, they set up a really cool scene and then went back on itself but you can pretty much forgive it. It's in theaters now and if you ca make it, go. This will probably be the best movie you see until mid July.
Crisis
When brain surgeon Cary Grant takes a vacation with his wife to a remote country, he has no idea what's in store for him as the president refuses to let him leave. Jose Ferrar plays the president and it turns out that he has a tumor and is unable to leave his palace because the country is on the verge of a coup. Grant now faces the crisis of what to do while operating-save the life of a dictator or have a slight mishap and become a hero? This is a good movie and if you get the chance you should see it. A quick side note- this was Richard Brooks' directorial debut and it almost didn't happen until Grant got involved.
Spider
This 2007 short film may be hard to find but it's well worth the effort. The story deals with a young man who is having a fight with his girlfriend and how he tries to reconcile. It's only nine minutes long so don't blink, you might miss something. It's written, directed by and starring Nash Edgerton with Mirra Foulkes as the girlfriend.
Prometheus
Ridley Scott attempts another trip to the bank with this Alien prequel that is as well thought out as a soup sandwich. This movie feels more like 2001: A Space Odyssey on midi-chlorians than an Alien movie. Events don't really seem to serve the plot, just the run time. The only defined character is an android, the other 14 are just there to take up space. They get all of the events that we see in Alien wrong. I'm don't really have enough bad things to say about this movie. Do not see it. Go back and watch Alien one more time and call it a good day.
Tucker and Dale vs. Evil
I dare anybody to watch this movie and not enjoy it. When Tucker (Alan Tudyk) and Dale (Tyler Labine) inherit a fixer upper cabin in the back woods of West Virginia, they think life will be pretty simple once they get the new "summer home" in order. What they don't count on is a group of snooty college kids who think that Tucker and Dale are a couple of hillbilly serial killers. Things keep going from bad to worse as the two groups have one misunderstanding after another. This is definitely one you should see.
No Country For Old Men
Not only is this one of the best movies that the Coen brothers ever made but it also established Josh Brolin as a leading man. The story is based on the Cormac McCarthy novel about a rogue intelligence officer (Javier Bardem), a good ol' boy who was in the wrong place at the wrong time (Josh Brolin), and the local sheriff (Tommy Lee Jones). Their lives are set on a collision course after a drug deal goes wrong in the middle of a Texas desert.
One of the things I really enjoy about this movie is the way they tell the story. The details are in the subtleties and you have to focus on the characters to get the plot line. If you get the chance, you really should see this movie.
One of the things I really enjoy about this movie is the way they tell the story. The details are in the subtleties and you have to focus on the characters to get the plot line. If you get the chance, you really should see this movie.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
The book of faces and the human condition
As I've looked around at the posts my friends make of facebook, I can't help but wonder what goes on with in their head. I have seen them meet somebody, fall in love, fall apart, and then repeat the cycle. I have one friend who is either single or engaged depending on which month it is. I have another friend who had her heart broken, pleads for a break from the pain, and then posts about some great guy she met before going back into the valley of the shadow of death. I suppose if I were 20 and hot, my phone would ring a lot more too, but I'm probably getting off point. Another friend has a boyfriend but has slowly erased his presence from her page while simultaneously posting motivational speeches or poems about loss and heartache.
I also wonder if these people are truly happy or just crying out for help. I've often been tempted to try an experiment where I post that I've met somebody new and life is oh so cheery. The next day I post that I've started drinking heavily. Finally, on the third day, I post that I'm shooting heroin. It would be interesting to see which one got the most likes and comments. I also wonder what the results would be if I changed the order of the posts around.
If I led off with the booze, then love and finally horse, would the comments stay the same? Would they be positive, condemning or supportive? I like to think those who really knew me would encourage me to slow down my drinking, question the authenticity of any post I make claiming to find love, and realize by the time I'm admitting to shooting horse that there's a punch line coming around the corner.
Those who knew me from just being online would probably like the heavy drinking post, send congratulatory comments on the love post and quote Requiem For A Dream on the H post.
It's interesting, I think, that society will accept an alcoholic, as long as they don't drink and drive. They will embrace the idea of love, despite the fact that's it's ruined more lives than organized religion, and they will condemn an intravenous drug user despite the fact that the only person he's really hurting is himself.
Off hand, I'd say that the system needs some fixing because all three of these cases need help. I wish I had a solution to the problem but right now I'm just learning to identify the problem. If anybody has any thoughts on this, I'm interested in hearing them.
I also wonder if these people are truly happy or just crying out for help. I've often been tempted to try an experiment where I post that I've met somebody new and life is oh so cheery. The next day I post that I've started drinking heavily. Finally, on the third day, I post that I'm shooting heroin. It would be interesting to see which one got the most likes and comments. I also wonder what the results would be if I changed the order of the posts around.
If I led off with the booze, then love and finally horse, would the comments stay the same? Would they be positive, condemning or supportive? I like to think those who really knew me would encourage me to slow down my drinking, question the authenticity of any post I make claiming to find love, and realize by the time I'm admitting to shooting horse that there's a punch line coming around the corner.
Those who knew me from just being online would probably like the heavy drinking post, send congratulatory comments on the love post and quote Requiem For A Dream on the H post.
It's interesting, I think, that society will accept an alcoholic, as long as they don't drink and drive. They will embrace the idea of love, despite the fact that's it's ruined more lives than organized religion, and they will condemn an intravenous drug user despite the fact that the only person he's really hurting is himself.
Off hand, I'd say that the system needs some fixing because all three of these cases need help. I wish I had a solution to the problem but right now I'm just learning to identify the problem. If anybody has any thoughts on this, I'm interested in hearing them.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Snow White and The Huntsman
First time director Rupert Sanders
brings a somewhat creative spin on the Snow White story to the screen. The
story seems to be self aware that it's just another retelling and seems to take
steps to hold the audiences attention. For starters, the evil queen gets a back
story. This not only makes for a more interesting character, it also explains
how we the audience are supposed to buy into Kristen Stewart being "fairer
than" Charlize Theron.
Chris Hemsworth does a good job as The
Huntsman. His character is emotionally wounded which makes his initial
allegiance with the evil queen believable. Her betrayal seems a bit forced
because you see it coming from the moment the promise leaves her lips.
I'm not saying this movie is exceptionally
good but it is better than I would have given it credit for. If you had an
interest in seeing it, you'll probably enjoy it. If you didn't, it probably
won't turn you around.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
The People vs. George Lucas
This documentary, written and directed by Alexandre O. Philippe, is presented in a court room style as he interviews people from all walks of life about the impact George Lucas has had on their life. It mostly focuses on Lucas' directing career with the main emphasis on the Star Wars films since that is where people really become passionate about their love or hatred of the man. The film paints in very broad strokes over his producing career but dwells on Indiana Jones and The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull. It's surprising how many people lay blame for the lameness of this film solely at Lucas' feet. Steven Spielberg was there too folks, he's just as guilty.
Yeah, I guess I'd have to count myself one of the people to vs. George Lucas. I can appreciate some of the alterations he made with his "special editions" , and if he wanted to release them just to show the public what his original vision was, that would be fine. The fact that he has replaced the originals with these special editions is a little offensive. There is a part of the documentary that covers just how much he's reversed his thinking on this matter.
I've looked forward to this movie ever since i heard it was making the rounds through the festival circuit. It's nice to see a movie that can live up to the promise from a good title. You should make time to check this out.
Yeah, I guess I'd have to count myself one of the people to vs. George Lucas. I can appreciate some of the alterations he made with his "special editions" , and if he wanted to release them just to show the public what his original vision was, that would be fine. The fact that he has replaced the originals with these special editions is a little offensive. There is a part of the documentary that covers just how much he's reversed his thinking on this matter.
I've looked forward to this movie ever since i heard it was making the rounds through the festival circuit. It's nice to see a movie that can live up to the promise from a good title. You should make time to check this out.
The Coffee Diaries chapter 11
Coffee Girls Filling Station
It's impressive the volume of business this coffee shop, a little off the beaten path, can do on a Sunday morning. At 29th and McGee, you don't realize it's there unless you're looking for it. The staff is knowledgeable and friendly. The best part of all is that you get a free refill on brewed coffee. The beans are roasted locally by a guy called Oddly Correct. When asked for a recommendation, the barista turned me on to their Ethiopian blend. It has a good flavor but nothing that makes it stand out. You'll get your moneys worth.
It's impressive the volume of business this coffee shop, a little off the beaten path, can do on a Sunday morning. At 29th and McGee, you don't realize it's there unless you're looking for it. The staff is knowledgeable and friendly. The best part of all is that you get a free refill on brewed coffee. The beans are roasted locally by a guy called Oddly Correct. When asked for a recommendation, the barista turned me on to their Ethiopian blend. It has a good flavor but nothing that makes it stand out. You'll get your moneys worth.
The Coffee Diaries chapter 10
K. City Coffeehouse and Wine Bar
Located in The River Market area and independently owned, K. City's claim to fame in the coffee world is the White Mocha. Using espresso they roast themselves, it also contains white chocolate sauce, skim milk and topped off with whipped cream.
The white chocolate is more of an after taste and doesn't overpower the flavor of the espresso, while the steamed milk helps balance the sharpness. Over all, it's a pretty good cup but the search continues...
Located in The River Market area and independently owned, K. City's claim to fame in the coffee world is the White Mocha. Using espresso they roast themselves, it also contains white chocolate sauce, skim milk and topped off with whipped cream.
The white chocolate is more of an after taste and doesn't overpower the flavor of the espresso, while the steamed milk helps balance the sharpness. Over all, it's a pretty good cup but the search continues...
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
The Coffee Diaries chapter 9
Dunn Brothers- Overland Park
It's nice to know that despite being a franchise, there are differences in the two locations. The Overland Park location recommends the Full City Blend which is a medium roast from Peru. It has a nice, smooth flavor that's very even. It's exactly what you'd expect from a medium roast.
The shop has a different lay out and feel to it. There are couches in the middle of the room that surround a fireplace. There are tables and chairs along the walls and a magazine rack next to the couches. The Full City Blend ain't bad but the search continues...
It's nice to know that despite being a franchise, there are differences in the two locations. The Overland Park location recommends the Full City Blend which is a medium roast from Peru. It has a nice, smooth flavor that's very even. It's exactly what you'd expect from a medium roast.
The shop has a different lay out and feel to it. There are couches in the middle of the room that surround a fireplace. There are tables and chairs along the walls and a magazine rack next to the couches. The Full City Blend ain't bad but the search continues...
The Coffee Diaries chapter 8
Dunn Brothers-Red Bridge
The recommended coffee at this fine establishment is a light blend Ethiopian. It's simple and has the slight, bitter taste to it that lets you know it didn't just come out of a can.
The shop itself has a nice layout, nothing fancy. There's the counter as you walk in and the condiments at the end of it. There are a few tables and chairs scattered throughout. There are also some big, comfortable chairs with end tables and reading lamps next to them. That was a nice touch since I do like to catch up on some reading when I visit a coffee shop. The over all experience wasn't bad but the search does continue...
The recommended coffee at this fine establishment is a light blend Ethiopian. It's simple and has the slight, bitter taste to it that lets you know it didn't just come out of a can.
The shop itself has a nice layout, nothing fancy. There's the counter as you walk in and the condiments at the end of it. There are a few tables and chairs scattered throughout. There are also some big, comfortable chairs with end tables and reading lamps next to them. That was a nice touch since I do like to catch up on some reading when I visit a coffee shop. The over all experience wasn't bad but the search does continue...
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Randomness at 4 in the morning
Just got off work and now just hanging out in the hotel room. Homelessness sucks but it does keep you on your toes. Everybody I know is asleep or just not interested in hanging out. Can't really blame them, the only thing to do this time of the morning is hang out at Denny's. Not really hungry and I don't want to sit around drinking mediocre coffee. So I wind up here in the room with my laptop and ipod for company. Sanctuary by Korn is currently playing, slightly ironic.
I've been hanging out at my mom's place while they've been out of town but they're all in town for my step-dads' fathers birthday. He turns 90. That's quite an accomplishment. I was invited but I have other plans. Besides, it's not like he remembers me anyway. A bunch of other relatives that I haven't seen for a while are all coming in. Basically it's all hands on deck for the whole famn damily. How many times would I get to tell my story about what I've been up to lately? "I separated from my girlfriend of two years, am now homeless and I'm working as a bouncer in an Irish pub. It's only part time but it's the first work I've had since August so I can't really complain. How about you, whens the last time we saw each other?" Yeah, good times.
I turn 43 next week and the only person to acknowledge anything is my boss who gave me the day off. I've never really been one to make a big deal out of another trip around the sun but when I look at the benefits of turning 90...ah, fuck it, no use in wanting what I'll never have. By the time I'm 90 those folks will be long gone and I'll have lost contact with the living ones. That's just the way of the world. It's times like these that make me realize I'll die broke and alone.
I think my neighbors might be getting it on. It's either that or somethings wrong with the pipes in the wall. They have a very strange rhythm if they are making the beast with two backs. Maybe it's some kind of Tantric thing. I guess it doesn' really matter, two (maybe three) consenting adults have found each other and that's difficult enough in this crazy little thing called life.
Have to go to bed at some point, the derby home opener is today and I gotta get some sleep for that. I also want to wake up in time for a breakfast menu somewhere. I'm a huge fan of the breakfast food. Right now I can't think of anything sexier that a woman could say than "Would you like some breakfast?". Kind of gets the juices flowing just thinking about it. Better stop before I awaken more than one appetite with no way to satisfy either. Suppose it's time to stare at the ceiling for a little while and try to drift off.
I've been hanging out at my mom's place while they've been out of town but they're all in town for my step-dads' fathers birthday. He turns 90. That's quite an accomplishment. I was invited but I have other plans. Besides, it's not like he remembers me anyway. A bunch of other relatives that I haven't seen for a while are all coming in. Basically it's all hands on deck for the whole famn damily. How many times would I get to tell my story about what I've been up to lately? "I separated from my girlfriend of two years, am now homeless and I'm working as a bouncer in an Irish pub. It's only part time but it's the first work I've had since August so I can't really complain. How about you, whens the last time we saw each other?" Yeah, good times.
I turn 43 next week and the only person to acknowledge anything is my boss who gave me the day off. I've never really been one to make a big deal out of another trip around the sun but when I look at the benefits of turning 90...ah, fuck it, no use in wanting what I'll never have. By the time I'm 90 those folks will be long gone and I'll have lost contact with the living ones. That's just the way of the world. It's times like these that make me realize I'll die broke and alone.
I think my neighbors might be getting it on. It's either that or somethings wrong with the pipes in the wall. They have a very strange rhythm if they are making the beast with two backs. Maybe it's some kind of Tantric thing. I guess it doesn' really matter, two (maybe three) consenting adults have found each other and that's difficult enough in this crazy little thing called life.
Have to go to bed at some point, the derby home opener is today and I gotta get some sleep for that. I also want to wake up in time for a breakfast menu somewhere. I'm a huge fan of the breakfast food. Right now I can't think of anything sexier that a woman could say than "Would you like some breakfast?". Kind of gets the juices flowing just thinking about it. Better stop before I awaken more than one appetite with no way to satisfy either. Suppose it's time to stare at the ceiling for a little while and try to drift off.
Friday, March 16, 2012
The Coffee Diaries-Chapter 7
Chez Elle
This fine coffee establishment is located downtown and specializes in crepes as well as coffee. I've heard good things about the food but I was just there for the coffee. Putting forth the standard question, I received an Espresso with whipped cream. There's nothing wrong with truth in advertising. I was promised a very strong cup of coffee and that's what was delivered. They use Broadway Roasterie espresso there and of course, whipped cream which is kind of a variance on how I usually take it.
While my experience overall was satisfying, I'd love it if Mr. Peabody would hop in the Way-Back Machine and bite the shit out of the son of a bitch who thought serving espresso in small cups was a good idea.
This fine coffee establishment is located downtown and specializes in crepes as well as coffee. I've heard good things about the food but I was just there for the coffee. Putting forth the standard question, I received an Espresso with whipped cream. There's nothing wrong with truth in advertising. I was promised a very strong cup of coffee and that's what was delivered. They use Broadway Roasterie espresso there and of course, whipped cream which is kind of a variance on how I usually take it.
While my experience overall was satisfying, I'd love it if Mr. Peabody would hop in the Way-Back Machine and bite the shit out of the son of a bitch who thought serving espresso in small cups was a good idea.
The Coffee Diaries-Chapter 6
Coffee Wonk
Located on Broadway, I used to be a big fan of this joint when they first opened because they were the only 24 hour coffee house in town. When you needed a place to write after 11p.m. that wasn't Denny's, you could go there. Circumstances eventually forced them to amend their hours but it's still a nice place. The owner has a real never say die-entrepreneurial spirit and is always thinking up new ways to attract customers so you never know what you'll find there. It makes every experience unique.
When asked the standard question, I was served a Mocha. This consists of light roasted espresso, Irish cream, chocolate, and steamed milk. It has a very smooth flavor, not too sharp or bitter, all the flavors playing well together.
Located on Broadway, I used to be a big fan of this joint when they first opened because they were the only 24 hour coffee house in town. When you needed a place to write after 11p.m. that wasn't Denny's, you could go there. Circumstances eventually forced them to amend their hours but it's still a nice place. The owner has a real never say die-entrepreneurial spirit and is always thinking up new ways to attract customers so you never know what you'll find there. It makes every experience unique.
When asked the standard question, I was served a Mocha. This consists of light roasted espresso, Irish cream, chocolate, and steamed milk. It has a very smooth flavor, not too sharp or bitter, all the flavors playing well together.
The Coffee Diaries-Chapter 5
Westport Coffee House
I'll admit I felt a slight biased to this entry since I used to live in close proximity and practically had my mail forwarded there more than once. I visited them on this occasion on a Sunday morning and asked the same question-"What's good here?" and was surprised to find that among the several specialties of the house, the Guatemalan roast drip coffee was what the staff recommends.
It is a smooth, tasty cup of coffee and perhaps this is where my biased kicked in because I would have thought there would have been something on a grander scale. Looking back on it though, I guess it does pretty well sum up the whole WCH experience. Is WCH the Disneyland of coffee houses? No, but it's a comfortable place to hang out and write or have a meeting or any other of the dozen things I've done there. It is what it is because that's what it needs to be, a hot, pleasant flavored beverage that gets the job done.
I'll admit I felt a slight biased to this entry since I used to live in close proximity and practically had my mail forwarded there more than once. I visited them on this occasion on a Sunday morning and asked the same question-"What's good here?" and was surprised to find that among the several specialties of the house, the Guatemalan roast drip coffee was what the staff recommends.
It is a smooth, tasty cup of coffee and perhaps this is where my biased kicked in because I would have thought there would have been something on a grander scale. Looking back on it though, I guess it does pretty well sum up the whole WCH experience. Is WCH the Disneyland of coffee houses? No, but it's a comfortable place to hang out and write or have a meeting or any other of the dozen things I've done there. It is what it is because that's what it needs to be, a hot, pleasant flavored beverage that gets the job done.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Act Of Valor
This is what happens when good ideas go bad. As the production was coming together, the SEALs that were brought in as technical experts voiced an opinion that they were tired of seeing themselves improperly portrayed. So, as a result, there are active duty SEALs in lead roles in this movie. That is not the problem.
The problem is that it wants to be somewhere between Black Hawk Down and Navy SEALs but it's trying to be The Hurt Locker. It falls short of both goals. Imagine Jim Harrison writing The Delta Force and you'll have this movie.
I did appreciate the fact that this is the first movie I've seen since 2001 that took me into a battle and didn't make me feel like I was playing a first person video game. While it's not a complete waste of time (just money), I think I had a more enjoyable experience with Navy SEALs.
The problem is that it wants to be somewhere between Black Hawk Down and Navy SEALs but it's trying to be The Hurt Locker. It falls short of both goals. Imagine Jim Harrison writing The Delta Force and you'll have this movie.
I did appreciate the fact that this is the first movie I've seen since 2001 that took me into a battle and didn't make me feel like I was playing a first person video game. While it's not a complete waste of time (just money), I think I had a more enjoyable experience with Navy SEALs.
Chronicle
While not exactly great, this movie does manage to rise above most entries in the "found footage" genre. It also does a decent job of explaining why there is a camera filming constantly.
The story follows three high school students who are exposed to something mysterious that they find underground. They suddenly find themselves with telekinetic powers.
It's definitely a new approach to a subject well beaten into the dust. The movie is more of a character study on these three young men instead of focusing on what they do with their new power. Besides that, with a run time of 84 minutes, the movie is over before you get bored with it.
The story follows three high school students who are exposed to something mysterious that they find underground. They suddenly find themselves with telekinetic powers.
It's definitely a new approach to a subject well beaten into the dust. The movie is more of a character study on these three young men instead of focusing on what they do with their new power. Besides that, with a run time of 84 minutes, the movie is over before you get bored with it.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Now Showing
Contraband
This remake of the 2008 Icelandic film Reykjavik-Rotterdam is directed by that films director and star Baltasar Kormakur. The American version stars Mark Wahlberg as a retired smuggler who has settled into family life but finds himself drawn back into the life to help out his brother-in-law, Caleb Landry Jones, who gets himself in dutch with drug dealer Giovanni Ribisi.
For the most part, it's a fun movie. However, there are a couple of pointless scenes that serve no purpose outside of time filler and to establish Ribisi as a hard ass.
Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance
It's rare to find a movie that is a complete waste of time. Usually, I can find that one element, however slight, and think sure, that sucked, but there was that one thing that I took away from it. Not so with this movie. I'm not sure if I have enough bad things to say about this one. In the spirit of wasting no more of your or my time, I'm just going to say avoid this movie like a diseased crack whore.
The Grey
Holy freaking hell, this movie is everything you've been promised and more! Adapted from a short story by Ian Mackenzie Jeffers who also co-wrote the screenplay (the name sounds familiar because he's the guy who wrote the screenplay for Death Sentence). This is man vs. nature on an early London scale. The characters are human and not over defined, and even the wolves have motivation.
In an age when everybody relies on computers to make movies, it's refreshing as hell to see real snow storms and animatronics. It's hard to watch this movie and believe that Joe Carnahan also directed The A-Team movie.
I'm going to leave you with one little clue to getting the most out of your experience. Somewhere close to the end, you'll know it when it happens, you're going to experience a sensation of potential let down. When this happens, ask yourself, what would Alex do in this situation? and then act on that.
Red Tails
This movie tells the story of The Tuskegee Airmen in the European theater. Originally used to patrol at the rear of the battle, they are eventually given the opportunity to prove themselves by escorting bombing missions. While mostly historically accurate, at the end of the day it is an action movie meant to give heroes back to 14 year old boys.
It's refreshing to see a black character who isn't portrayed as an under educated jack ass. In fact, from the perspective of the film, you really see racism in its naked ignorance.
When they're not in the air, the film kind of takes on that Baa Baa Black Sheep/ Black Sheep Squadron feel. Part of that may be because director Anthony Hemingway made his bones in television but I think also it has to do with the fact that one fighter base is pretty much like the other in WW II. The in air rivalry with the German pilots has a definite Von Richthofen And Brown vibe to it but it also works by giving the opposition a personality instead of just a faceless spectre who's sole purpose is to die for the cameras.
The dialogue is a little heavy handed in a few places but if you can overlook it you'll have a lot of fun with this one.
Safe House
An interesting spy thriller set in Cape Town, South Africa. Denzel Washington plays a former C.I.A. agent who has gone freelance (think of a rogue Jack Bauer). For reasons that everybody is struggling to figure out, he has turned himself in to the American embassy.
He is taken to a safe house to be interrogated when suddenly all hell breaks loose and everyone is killed except for Ryan Reynolds who is in charge of the safe house. He manages to escape with his prisoner during the melee.
Reynolds must now keep Washington in custody while on the run as the agency tries to figure out what happened. It's not as 3 Days Of The Condor as I thought it would be. It will hold your attention but it's nothing exceptional.
We Bought A Zoo
Four words- A. Cameron. Crowe. Film. This should help you in your movie watching decisions as well as determine if you keep reading. Those of you who are fans of Mr. Crowes work will appreciate this different direction that he's taking. Those of you who see a zebra with a bow on the poster and notice the PG rating expecting fluffy animals, little girls speaking in catch phrases and fart jokes, happy to disappoint you. This movie has a brain, maybe you should read the book this movie is based off of and develop your own.
It's a true story based on a man in England (California for the movie) who's wife passed away leaving him with two children. In an effort to get a fresh start, he decides to quit his job and buy a house somewhere out of town. He finds the perfect house, but there's a catch, it's attached to a zoo. Whoever gets the house also gets the zoo. As you can tell from the title, they get the house. The story then follows the growing pains as everybody adapts to their new home. I enjoyed it and I think you will too if you've managed to keep reading this far.
The Woman In Black
Imagine Jonathan Harker with a child instead of a fiancee. When he goes to the castle, he encounters Lucy Westerna who has Freddy Krueger-like motivations. Now set the whole thing in the 19th century and you have The Woman In Black.
This remake of the 2008 Icelandic film Reykjavik-Rotterdam is directed by that films director and star Baltasar Kormakur. The American version stars Mark Wahlberg as a retired smuggler who has settled into family life but finds himself drawn back into the life to help out his brother-in-law, Caleb Landry Jones, who gets himself in dutch with drug dealer Giovanni Ribisi.
For the most part, it's a fun movie. However, there are a couple of pointless scenes that serve no purpose outside of time filler and to establish Ribisi as a hard ass.
Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance
It's rare to find a movie that is a complete waste of time. Usually, I can find that one element, however slight, and think sure, that sucked, but there was that one thing that I took away from it. Not so with this movie. I'm not sure if I have enough bad things to say about this one. In the spirit of wasting no more of your or my time, I'm just going to say avoid this movie like a diseased crack whore.
The Grey
Holy freaking hell, this movie is everything you've been promised and more! Adapted from a short story by Ian Mackenzie Jeffers who also co-wrote the screenplay (the name sounds familiar because he's the guy who wrote the screenplay for Death Sentence). This is man vs. nature on an early London scale. The characters are human and not over defined, and even the wolves have motivation.
In an age when everybody relies on computers to make movies, it's refreshing as hell to see real snow storms and animatronics. It's hard to watch this movie and believe that Joe Carnahan also directed The A-Team movie.
I'm going to leave you with one little clue to getting the most out of your experience. Somewhere close to the end, you'll know it when it happens, you're going to experience a sensation of potential let down. When this happens, ask yourself, what would Alex do in this situation? and then act on that.
Red Tails
This movie tells the story of The Tuskegee Airmen in the European theater. Originally used to patrol at the rear of the battle, they are eventually given the opportunity to prove themselves by escorting bombing missions. While mostly historically accurate, at the end of the day it is an action movie meant to give heroes back to 14 year old boys.
It's refreshing to see a black character who isn't portrayed as an under educated jack ass. In fact, from the perspective of the film, you really see racism in its naked ignorance.
When they're not in the air, the film kind of takes on that Baa Baa Black Sheep/ Black Sheep Squadron feel. Part of that may be because director Anthony Hemingway made his bones in television but I think also it has to do with the fact that one fighter base is pretty much like the other in WW II. The in air rivalry with the German pilots has a definite Von Richthofen And Brown vibe to it but it also works by giving the opposition a personality instead of just a faceless spectre who's sole purpose is to die for the cameras.
The dialogue is a little heavy handed in a few places but if you can overlook it you'll have a lot of fun with this one.
Safe House
An interesting spy thriller set in Cape Town, South Africa. Denzel Washington plays a former C.I.A. agent who has gone freelance (think of a rogue Jack Bauer). For reasons that everybody is struggling to figure out, he has turned himself in to the American embassy.
He is taken to a safe house to be interrogated when suddenly all hell breaks loose and everyone is killed except for Ryan Reynolds who is in charge of the safe house. He manages to escape with his prisoner during the melee.
Reynolds must now keep Washington in custody while on the run as the agency tries to figure out what happened. It's not as 3 Days Of The Condor as I thought it would be. It will hold your attention but it's nothing exceptional.
We Bought A Zoo
Four words- A. Cameron. Crowe. Film. This should help you in your movie watching decisions as well as determine if you keep reading. Those of you who are fans of Mr. Crowes work will appreciate this different direction that he's taking. Those of you who see a zebra with a bow on the poster and notice the PG rating expecting fluffy animals, little girls speaking in catch phrases and fart jokes, happy to disappoint you. This movie has a brain, maybe you should read the book this movie is based off of and develop your own.
It's a true story based on a man in England (California for the movie) who's wife passed away leaving him with two children. In an effort to get a fresh start, he decides to quit his job and buy a house somewhere out of town. He finds the perfect house, but there's a catch, it's attached to a zoo. Whoever gets the house also gets the zoo. As you can tell from the title, they get the house. The story then follows the growing pains as everybody adapts to their new home. I enjoyed it and I think you will too if you've managed to keep reading this far.
The Woman In Black
Imagine Jonathan Harker with a child instead of a fiancee. When he goes to the castle, he encounters Lucy Westerna who has Freddy Krueger-like motivations. Now set the whole thing in the 19th century and you have The Woman In Black.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Valentines Day viewing
Dracula
81 years ago today, Universal released Dracula with the tag line "A different kind of love story". It starred Bela Lugosi in the title role and Edward Van Sloan as his adversary, Professor Abraham Van Helsing. Both actors reprising their roles from the immensely popular stage play by Garrett Ford, which was adapted from the novel by Bram Stoker. The screenplay was adapted by Hamilton Deane and John L. Balderston and was the first movie to be made under the Dracula name.
Nosferatu was made in 1922 and was supposed to be the first adaptation but Stoker's widow wouldn't release the rights.
Lugosi made over 100 movies in his career but he is best known for his role as the Transylvanian Count. Surprisingly, despite all of the sequels and spin-offs that Universal made following the 1931 classic, Lugosi only reprised the role one other time in 1948's Bud Abbott and Lou Costello Meet Frankenstein.
My Bloody Valentine-the special edition
Made in 1981 during the golden age of the Slasher film, this movie was also one of the first to suffer from a grass roots movement by studios to self police after coming under fire by parent groups for violence in cinema. It was also two months after John Lennon had been killed. Unfortunately, the theatrical cut is a mess but now thanks to the miracle of home video, you and your special someone can snuggle up and watch Harry Warden take his revenge for being trapped in a mine while the whole town celebrated Valentines Day.
On a side note, no, you're not crazy if you find yourself reminded of themes also running through Happy Birthday To Me. John Beaird was one of the writers on both films.
Red Shoe Diaries
Definitely one of writer/director Zalman King's best works, this movie was also used as a pilot for a long running television series. Red Shoe Diaries also put David Duchovny on the map as being a leading man.
The story follows a young woman, Brigitte Bako, who has opened too much of herself to her fiancee, Jake, and now searches for a secret that will be hers alone. She has a chance encounter with Tom, Billy Wirth, but things spiral out of her control to the point that she takes her own life.
Jake, Duchovny, finds out about Tom as he discovers her diary while packing away her things. Now the two men must come to grips with the loss of the woman they loved.
Sadly, after a long career, Zalman King lost his battle with cancer a couple of weeks ago on February 3rd. He will be missed but remembered fondly on Valentines Day because in my opinion, he was the only man who ever knew how to tell a real love story.
True Romance-the directors cut
Based on an early script by Quentin Tarantino and directed by Tony Scott, this movie tells the story of a young couple who meet, fall in love, get married and wind up with a suitcase full of the mobs cocaine.
The directors cut is by far the superior version of the film because there are two expanded scenes that better define Patricia Arquette's character, plus the ending isn't as jumbled. Definitely worth your time.
81 years ago today, Universal released Dracula with the tag line "A different kind of love story". It starred Bela Lugosi in the title role and Edward Van Sloan as his adversary, Professor Abraham Van Helsing. Both actors reprising their roles from the immensely popular stage play by Garrett Ford, which was adapted from the novel by Bram Stoker. The screenplay was adapted by Hamilton Deane and John L. Balderston and was the first movie to be made under the Dracula name.
Nosferatu was made in 1922 and was supposed to be the first adaptation but Stoker's widow wouldn't release the rights.
Lugosi made over 100 movies in his career but he is best known for his role as the Transylvanian Count. Surprisingly, despite all of the sequels and spin-offs that Universal made following the 1931 classic, Lugosi only reprised the role one other time in 1948's Bud Abbott and Lou Costello Meet Frankenstein.
My Bloody Valentine-the special edition
Made in 1981 during the golden age of the Slasher film, this movie was also one of the first to suffer from a grass roots movement by studios to self police after coming under fire by parent groups for violence in cinema. It was also two months after John Lennon had been killed. Unfortunately, the theatrical cut is a mess but now thanks to the miracle of home video, you and your special someone can snuggle up and watch Harry Warden take his revenge for being trapped in a mine while the whole town celebrated Valentines Day.
On a side note, no, you're not crazy if you find yourself reminded of themes also running through Happy Birthday To Me. John Beaird was one of the writers on both films.
Red Shoe Diaries
Definitely one of writer/director Zalman King's best works, this movie was also used as a pilot for a long running television series. Red Shoe Diaries also put David Duchovny on the map as being a leading man.
The story follows a young woman, Brigitte Bako, who has opened too much of herself to her fiancee, Jake, and now searches for a secret that will be hers alone. She has a chance encounter with Tom, Billy Wirth, but things spiral out of her control to the point that she takes her own life.
Jake, Duchovny, finds out about Tom as he discovers her diary while packing away her things. Now the two men must come to grips with the loss of the woman they loved.
Sadly, after a long career, Zalman King lost his battle with cancer a couple of weeks ago on February 3rd. He will be missed but remembered fondly on Valentines Day because in my opinion, he was the only man who ever knew how to tell a real love story.
True Romance-the directors cut
Based on an early script by Quentin Tarantino and directed by Tony Scott, this movie tells the story of a young couple who meet, fall in love, get married and wind up with a suitcase full of the mobs cocaine.
The directors cut is by far the superior version of the film because there are two expanded scenes that better define Patricia Arquette's character, plus the ending isn't as jumbled. Definitely worth your time.
Monday, February 13, 2012
South Central Derby Desk Feb. 13
Good morning derby fans,
South Central is still taking it's time getting the season going but this past weekend saw the Tallahassee Rollergirls on tour and kicking ass.
Saturday-
Tallahassee went to Tulsa Oklahoma to defeat the Green Country Roller Girls 215 to 178.
Sunday-
Tallahassee then proceeded to Fayetteville Arkansas to roll over Northwest Arkansas Roller Derby 181 to 186.
Meanwhile, back in Oklahoma, The Lightning Broads from Oklahoma City Roller Derby took a little trip to Ada to play South Central Roller Girls' Black Heart Queens. When the final whistle blew, the board read Lightning Broads 162 to 43.
Tune in next week when we find out about Springfield vs. Oklahoma, Atlanta's home opener, and many more. See you then.
South Central is still taking it's time getting the season going but this past weekend saw the Tallahassee Rollergirls on tour and kicking ass.
Saturday-
Tallahassee went to Tulsa Oklahoma to defeat the Green Country Roller Girls 215 to 178.
Sunday-
Tallahassee then proceeded to Fayetteville Arkansas to roll over Northwest Arkansas Roller Derby 181 to 186.
Meanwhile, back in Oklahoma, The Lightning Broads from Oklahoma City Roller Derby took a little trip to Ada to play South Central Roller Girls' Black Heart Queens. When the final whistle blew, the board read Lightning Broads 162 to 43.
Tune in next week when we find out about Springfield vs. Oklahoma, Atlanta's home opener, and many more. See you then.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Monday Morning Derby Desk-Feb. 6 2012
Welcome back derby fans. Apparently there was some other sporting event going on this weekend so there wasn't much happening in the derby world as far as the South Central division was concerned. Everybody played on Saturday with nothing but silence on Sunday.
Ft. Lauderdale Florida's Gold Coast Derby Grrls All-Stars played hostess to Tucson Arizona's Saddletramps. The Saddletramps rode their way to victory with a final score of 153 to 94.
Also in Florida, Brevard County's Molly Roger Rollergirls invited Jacksonville's Duval Derby Dames over for an ass whoopin' of 130 to 90.
Finally, Athens Georgia's Classic City Rollergirls were hostess to their own defeat at the hands of Johnson City Tennessee's Little City Roller Girls. The final score was 138 to 61.
Tune in next week to find out who has their season openers as the season slowly gets started here in South Central.
Ft. Lauderdale Florida's Gold Coast Derby Grrls All-Stars played hostess to Tucson Arizona's Saddletramps. The Saddletramps rode their way to victory with a final score of 153 to 94.
Also in Florida, Brevard County's Molly Roger Rollergirls invited Jacksonville's Duval Derby Dames over for an ass whoopin' of 130 to 90.
Finally, Athens Georgia's Classic City Rollergirls were hostess to their own defeat at the hands of Johnson City Tennessee's Little City Roller Girls. The final score was 138 to 61.
Tune in next week to find out who has their season openers as the season slowly gets started here in South Central.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Mystery Monday
Why not start your week off with a good whodunit? Here are a few I've seen lately that are pretty good and not so good.
Eye See You
On paper, you wonder why this movie was never released. It stars Sylvester Stallone, Charles S. Dutton (it's his birthday today), Kris Kristofferson, Jeffrey Wright, Tom Berenger, Stephen Lang, Robert Patrick, Courtney B. Vance and Rance Howard.
When you see it, you wonder how they got that many big names in the cast. You can't tell me that they tricked all of those guys. They must have been fighting each other to be the killers next victim just so they could leave the movie.
It was originally titled D-Tox and is the bastard child that Universal wants nothing to do with. It got a European release but didn't show up state side until the magic of home video.
The story line follows a killer who's targeting cops. Stallone plays a fed brought in on the case. When the killer takes out his girlfriend, he goes over the edge. After a suicide attempt, he checks into a special program set up for law enforcement.
The facility is in the middle of Wyoming and of course, there's a white out. Oh yeah, and the killer isn't dead. Insert every cliche about secluded buildings here and in an hour you'll see the end credits.
I can only recommend this to Stallone fans because it's almost like he knew this would never see the light of day so he just tries things you'd never see him do under a studio system.
La habitacion de Fermat (Fermat's Room)
Written and directed by Luis Piedrahita and Rodrigo Sopena, this mystery combines the best elements of a whodunit and a Poe revenge tale.
Four mathematicians are invited to a dinner party by a mysterious host. Each a stranger to the other and assigned famous alias' by their host, they find themselves trapped in a room that gets smaller with every puzzle they don't solve in time. This movie is definitely worth your time.
Mystery Street
This 1950 film noir stars Ricardo Montalban as a police detective who has to rely on forensic medicine to identify a skeleton. Once it's discovered she was murdered, he must track down a killer.
As an early study of forensics and an interesting mystery to boot, this movie works on a lot of levels. You should check this one out.
One For The Money (2012)
If more chick flicks were like this, they probably wouldn't get such a bad rap. Based on Janet Evanovich's novel (the first of 18, anybody else see a sequel in the works?), the story follows a woman as she enters the male dominated field of bounty hunting.
The first person she goes after is a former acquaintance who's now a cop on the run. He's trying to clear his name and she just wants to collect the money on his bond.
It's well cast. Katherine Heigl even attempts to act in this movie which is refreshing after watching her go through the motions of being "Katherine Heigl" for the last 10 years. I would say it's well worth a look.
Stephen King's Bag Of Bones
Talk about a waste of potential. I do have to admit to enjoying the book and when I heard that it was a four hour mini-series, it seemed like a no brainer. They'd have to clean up the language a little for television and tighten up a few scenes but other wise, it could be worth watching.
I'm not sure what Matt Venne was thinking of while he wrote the screenplay but it's pretty obvious he never read the book. It's like he walked in half way through and overheard somebody talking about the book.
The best scene in the movie comes when Pierce Brosnan sits down to write after his wife passes. That was a pretty honest scene. Everything else just seemed to happen because it needs to happen or out of convenience. Do yourself a favor and read the book, leave the movie alone.
Eye See You
On paper, you wonder why this movie was never released. It stars Sylvester Stallone, Charles S. Dutton (it's his birthday today), Kris Kristofferson, Jeffrey Wright, Tom Berenger, Stephen Lang, Robert Patrick, Courtney B. Vance and Rance Howard.
When you see it, you wonder how they got that many big names in the cast. You can't tell me that they tricked all of those guys. They must have been fighting each other to be the killers next victim just so they could leave the movie.
It was originally titled D-Tox and is the bastard child that Universal wants nothing to do with. It got a European release but didn't show up state side until the magic of home video.
The story line follows a killer who's targeting cops. Stallone plays a fed brought in on the case. When the killer takes out his girlfriend, he goes over the edge. After a suicide attempt, he checks into a special program set up for law enforcement.
The facility is in the middle of Wyoming and of course, there's a white out. Oh yeah, and the killer isn't dead. Insert every cliche about secluded buildings here and in an hour you'll see the end credits.
I can only recommend this to Stallone fans because it's almost like he knew this would never see the light of day so he just tries things you'd never see him do under a studio system.
La habitacion de Fermat (Fermat's Room)
Written and directed by Luis Piedrahita and Rodrigo Sopena, this mystery combines the best elements of a whodunit and a Poe revenge tale.
Four mathematicians are invited to a dinner party by a mysterious host. Each a stranger to the other and assigned famous alias' by their host, they find themselves trapped in a room that gets smaller with every puzzle they don't solve in time. This movie is definitely worth your time.
Mystery Street
This 1950 film noir stars Ricardo Montalban as a police detective who has to rely on forensic medicine to identify a skeleton. Once it's discovered she was murdered, he must track down a killer.
As an early study of forensics and an interesting mystery to boot, this movie works on a lot of levels. You should check this one out.
One For The Money (2012)
If more chick flicks were like this, they probably wouldn't get such a bad rap. Based on Janet Evanovich's novel (the first of 18, anybody else see a sequel in the works?), the story follows a woman as she enters the male dominated field of bounty hunting.
The first person she goes after is a former acquaintance who's now a cop on the run. He's trying to clear his name and she just wants to collect the money on his bond.
It's well cast. Katherine Heigl even attempts to act in this movie which is refreshing after watching her go through the motions of being "Katherine Heigl" for the last 10 years. I would say it's well worth a look.
Stephen King's Bag Of Bones
Talk about a waste of potential. I do have to admit to enjoying the book and when I heard that it was a four hour mini-series, it seemed like a no brainer. They'd have to clean up the language a little for television and tighten up a few scenes but other wise, it could be worth watching.
I'm not sure what Matt Venne was thinking of while he wrote the screenplay but it's pretty obvious he never read the book. It's like he walked in half way through and overheard somebody talking about the book.
The best scene in the movie comes when Pierce Brosnan sits down to write after his wife passes. That was a pretty honest scene. Everything else just seemed to happen because it needs to happen or out of convenience. Do yourself a favor and read the book, leave the movie alone.
The Coffee Diaries-Chapter 4
Today's coffee shop is Caribou Coffee in Shawnee. The usual question was answered with a drink called the Turtle. The Turtle contains Caribou brand espresso, milk chocolate, caramel syrup, Snickers bits, and topped with whipped cream.
The flavor is cut short of being overly sweet by the sharp taste of the espresso. It's tasty if you like a sweet drink.
Caribou's staff is friendly enough and reasonably knowledgeable but programmed in that corporate kind of way.
It's not a bad place but, the search continues...
The flavor is cut short of being overly sweet by the sharp taste of the espresso. It's tasty if you like a sweet drink.
Caribou's staff is friendly enough and reasonably knowledgeable but programmed in that corporate kind of way.
It's not a bad place but, the search continues...
Leftover Omelet
Here's a little two for the price of one action. It's nothing fancy but you get a little more bang for your buck. This recipe will work for just about anything, in fact, I got the idea from a friend who used it on Chinese food. Any way, let's get started.
Part 1- The meal. This is a little something we call hamburger macaroni. You can substitute turkey but it works best with hamburger. Brown 1 pound of hamburger. Add seasonings of your choice. My choice-Southwest Seasoning, chili powder, black and red pepper. When the meat is brown, add a box of macaroni. Important note-get the stuff with the cheese SAUCE not the powder. Add enough water to just cover the mixture. Put a lid on it and leave it at med-high heat for 12-15 minutes (consult cooking directions on box). Stir occasionally. When time expires, water should be evaporated. Add cheese sauce. Stir well. Turn heat down to med. and let sit for about 5 min. stirring occasionally. Turn heat off and serve.
Part 2-The next meal. Assuming that you have a little left over like I did, you're half way there. Scramble 3 eggs in a bowl with a little milk and 1/4 tsp of garlic powder. Spray pan with non-stick olive oil spray. Pour in eggs, keeping your temperature low. When the mixture starts to solidify, pour in the leftovers. Flip one side of the egg to cover, let it sit for a couple of minutes and then flip the whole thing over. It should be a little golden brown on both sides. Turn the heat off and serve. Enjoy it with your beverage of choice.
Part 1- The meal. This is a little something we call hamburger macaroni. You can substitute turkey but it works best with hamburger. Brown 1 pound of hamburger. Add seasonings of your choice. My choice-Southwest Seasoning, chili powder, black and red pepper. When the meat is brown, add a box of macaroni. Important note-get the stuff with the cheese SAUCE not the powder. Add enough water to just cover the mixture. Put a lid on it and leave it at med-high heat for 12-15 minutes (consult cooking directions on box). Stir occasionally. When time expires, water should be evaporated. Add cheese sauce. Stir well. Turn heat down to med. and let sit for about 5 min. stirring occasionally. Turn heat off and serve.
Part 2-The next meal. Assuming that you have a little left over like I did, you're half way there. Scramble 3 eggs in a bowl with a little milk and 1/4 tsp of garlic powder. Spray pan with non-stick olive oil spray. Pour in eggs, keeping your temperature low. When the mixture starts to solidify, pour in the leftovers. Flip one side of the egg to cover, let it sit for a couple of minutes and then flip the whole thing over. It should be a little golden brown on both sides. Turn the heat off and serve. Enjoy it with your beverage of choice.
Monday Morning Derby Desk- South Central Division
Good morning sports fans and welcome to the Monday Morning Derby Desk. I'll be covering the South Central division for the season. It's my hope and attempt to keep you educated and informed about what happens here in South Central since it's the division I live and work in. If you have any questions, comments or breaking news, please let me know. Now, on with the show.
Saturday, Jacksonville Florida watched the season kick off with the New Jax City Rollers defeating the Ft. Myers Derby Girls 186 to 123. Jacksonville's home team action saw the First Coast Fatales spank the Duval Derby Dames 124 to 45.
Also on Saturday, Dallas' Assassination City Roller Derby played hostess to The Governors Cup tournament. The first round saw the Alamo City Rollergirls from San Antonio roll over Oklahoma City Roller Derby 170 to 83. Assassination City's Special Ops took out Northwest Arkansas Roller Derby 160 to 123. Duke City Derby out of Albuquerque, N.M. defeated the Oklahoma City Victory Dolls 141 to 118.
The next round saw Special Ops get their second victory. This time against Alamo City's Las Tejanas; final score 172 to 92. Last seasons reigning champions, Austin's Texecutioners, crushed Duke City's Munecas Muertas 243 to 36. Finally, closing out Day 1, OCRD's Tornado Alley Rollergirls lost to Northwest Arkansas' All-Stars 186 to 75.
Sunday-Day 2 of The Governors Cup started off strong with the Munecas Muertas learning a lesson from Austin and teaching it to the Victory Dolls as the final score was 236 to 84. The Northwest Arkansas All-Stars sent Las Tejanas home with a final score of 147 to 130. The Texecutioners showed their hostesses how they became the number one team in the division by beating them into submission with a final score of 337 to 46. The Munecas Muertas remembered The Alamo and gave Northwest Arkansas' All-Stars no room to breathe, defeating them 215 to 77. Using their momentum against Special Ops, Munecas Muertas gained another victory the following game, 144 to 101. Finally, just as they looked unstoppable, Duke City hit the wall that is The Texecutioners and had to settle for second place with as Austin won 297 to 56.
That's all the news for now, hopefully you'll tune in next week as more teams have their season openers.
Saturday, Jacksonville Florida watched the season kick off with the New Jax City Rollers defeating the Ft. Myers Derby Girls 186 to 123. Jacksonville's home team action saw the First Coast Fatales spank the Duval Derby Dames 124 to 45.
Also on Saturday, Dallas' Assassination City Roller Derby played hostess to The Governors Cup tournament. The first round saw the Alamo City Rollergirls from San Antonio roll over Oklahoma City Roller Derby 170 to 83. Assassination City's Special Ops took out Northwest Arkansas Roller Derby 160 to 123. Duke City Derby out of Albuquerque, N.M. defeated the Oklahoma City Victory Dolls 141 to 118.
The next round saw Special Ops get their second victory. This time against Alamo City's Las Tejanas; final score 172 to 92. Last seasons reigning champions, Austin's Texecutioners, crushed Duke City's Munecas Muertas 243 to 36. Finally, closing out Day 1, OCRD's Tornado Alley Rollergirls lost to Northwest Arkansas' All-Stars 186 to 75.
Sunday-Day 2 of The Governors Cup started off strong with the Munecas Muertas learning a lesson from Austin and teaching it to the Victory Dolls as the final score was 236 to 84. The Northwest Arkansas All-Stars sent Las Tejanas home with a final score of 147 to 130. The Texecutioners showed their hostesses how they became the number one team in the division by beating them into submission with a final score of 337 to 46. The Munecas Muertas remembered The Alamo and gave Northwest Arkansas' All-Stars no room to breathe, defeating them 215 to 77. Using their momentum against Special Ops, Munecas Muertas gained another victory the following game, 144 to 101. Finally, just as they looked unstoppable, Duke City hit the wall that is The Texecutioners and had to settle for second place with as Austin won 297 to 56.
That's all the news for now, hopefully you'll tune in next week as more teams have their season openers.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Grand Central Murder
Van Heflin stars, in this film noir whodunnit, as P.I. Rocky Custer. He was hired to prove the innocence of a man wrongly incarcerated (Stephen McNally) but when that man escapes custody and a woman (Patricia Dane) turns up dead, he may not be so innocent. This film is based on the novel by Sue MacVeigh and is worth a look if you get the chance.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
The Coffee Diaries-Chapter 3
Today's coffee shop is Scooters Coffee House in Shawnee. It jumped the line because in the book the number is for Caffe Casa. It seems odd that the number doesn't match up because Scooters has been there for a couple of years. Oh well, semantics.
I give the guy behind the counter the standard question and he tells me about the White Mocha Espresso. It has white chocolate, house espresso and steamed milk. The flavor is actually very smooth. The white chocolate gives it a very even flavor.
The guy working the counter was friendly and knowledgeable and the place even has a drive-thru if you don't want to stand in line.
I give the guy behind the counter the standard question and he tells me about the White Mocha Espresso. It has white chocolate, house espresso and steamed milk. The flavor is actually very smooth. The white chocolate gives it a very even flavor.
The guy working the counter was friendly and knowledgeable and the place even has a drive-thru if you don't want to stand in line.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Getting it off my chest on a Monday morning
Have we as a society really become so bored that we have turned into alarmists over everything? Over the weekend, in the Kansas City area, there was an incident involving four people where gunshots were fired at a shopping mall. Now I'm not trying to take anything away from the seriousness of this situation. It was a weekend crowd and the situation could have been a lot worse. Notice how I said "could have been", meaning the only people who appeared to have been hurt were the people involved. Admittedly, I'm not really clear on the details because the media is spending more time on what could have happened than what actually did.
When this happened on Saturday, I first found out about it on facebook. A friend of mine was there, working at the mall. She said she was shaken but unharmed. Of course, there were a string of replies as everybody's asking for details and wishing her well but that's about as far as it went. I watched channel 4's news broadcast that night, because they were the first one on, and was absolutely stupefied.
They had a live remote standing at the entrance to the parking lot talking about things going on inside like they were there. The mall apparently shut down early due to the incident (more on this in a minute). The broadcaster used the term "hundreds of people trying to escape" more than once(!?). Then, they close the story with a flashback to 2007 when there was a shooting in the parking lot of a different mall(?!) like that had any relevance to anything.
Sunday once again finds news crews doing a live remote at Independence Center talking to people in the parking lot. I'm not sure what kind of potentially half assed and loaded questions they were asking because I was working at the time and we had the sound down but, just the fact that they were still harping on this story and sticking a mic in peoples faces tells me that they didn't get the fear and anger they were after the first night.
I'm still curious to know how they reached the decision to close the mall early. This is not the first time people have been shot in public places and it wont be the last. There are a lot of us on this rock and we're not all going to get along. Some of us just handle it in different ways. Back in the 1980's and '90's, there was all kinds of gang related activity at the Indian Springs mall which probably explains why there's only about five stores still operating there. Well, that and the fact that everybody does their shopping online now. The point is that we didn't make a national tragedy out of it then, why are we now? Where ever you have a gathering of people, you're going to have problems of some kind. Keep your eyes open and your head down. Like they told us in the army, stay alert, stay alive. You don't have to live your life in fear, just be aware of your surroundings.
One of the other news stories, that I just finished reading about this morning, was the Italian cruise ship tipping over. The Associated Press reporter went through 4 pages comparing it to the Titanic disaster. Really?! The reporter was so busy interviewing people in the Titanic exhibit gift shop that she couldn't even say if the ship hit a reef or rocks but she felt comfortable enough in her ignorance to use the phrase "reef or rocks" more than once.
Five people died and that is unfortunate but, let's not get this out of proportion. When you're close enough to see land and can swim to it, I don't think they need to condemn the crew on how long they waited with the life boats. People were complaining about having to climb down a rope to get to the boats because of the pitch of the ship. Really?! Whatever happened to being thankful there was a boat to climb down to? I'll bet those five people would have gladly climbed down a rope and swam to a life boat.
When you're telling me that the captain ran aground, tipped over a luxury liner and abandoned ship before the some of the passengers, I'm not thinking Titanic, I'm thinking Exxon Valdez. It's a little more recent and a little more relevant. Think people spill instead of oil spill. It also makes me think of The Poseidon Adventure when you tell me a ship "tipped over". I'm sure Gene Hackman would have been there to lead people to safety but somebody hit him while he was bike riding last week. You probably didn't hear about his because he's okay, just bumped and bruised and nothing you could compare to Stephen King and make us all paranoid about commuting the local roadways.
When this happened on Saturday, I first found out about it on facebook. A friend of mine was there, working at the mall. She said she was shaken but unharmed. Of course, there were a string of replies as everybody's asking for details and wishing her well but that's about as far as it went. I watched channel 4's news broadcast that night, because they were the first one on, and was absolutely stupefied.
They had a live remote standing at the entrance to the parking lot talking about things going on inside like they were there. The mall apparently shut down early due to the incident (more on this in a minute). The broadcaster used the term "hundreds of people trying to escape" more than once(!?). Then, they close the story with a flashback to 2007 when there was a shooting in the parking lot of a different mall(?!) like that had any relevance to anything.
Sunday once again finds news crews doing a live remote at Independence Center talking to people in the parking lot. I'm not sure what kind of potentially half assed and loaded questions they were asking because I was working at the time and we had the sound down but, just the fact that they were still harping on this story and sticking a mic in peoples faces tells me that they didn't get the fear and anger they were after the first night.
I'm still curious to know how they reached the decision to close the mall early. This is not the first time people have been shot in public places and it wont be the last. There are a lot of us on this rock and we're not all going to get along. Some of us just handle it in different ways. Back in the 1980's and '90's, there was all kinds of gang related activity at the Indian Springs mall which probably explains why there's only about five stores still operating there. Well, that and the fact that everybody does their shopping online now. The point is that we didn't make a national tragedy out of it then, why are we now? Where ever you have a gathering of people, you're going to have problems of some kind. Keep your eyes open and your head down. Like they told us in the army, stay alert, stay alive. You don't have to live your life in fear, just be aware of your surroundings.
One of the other news stories, that I just finished reading about this morning, was the Italian cruise ship tipping over. The Associated Press reporter went through 4 pages comparing it to the Titanic disaster. Really?! The reporter was so busy interviewing people in the Titanic exhibit gift shop that she couldn't even say if the ship hit a reef or rocks but she felt comfortable enough in her ignorance to use the phrase "reef or rocks" more than once.
Five people died and that is unfortunate but, let's not get this out of proportion. When you're close enough to see land and can swim to it, I don't think they need to condemn the crew on how long they waited with the life boats. People were complaining about having to climb down a rope to get to the boats because of the pitch of the ship. Really?! Whatever happened to being thankful there was a boat to climb down to? I'll bet those five people would have gladly climbed down a rope and swam to a life boat.
When you're telling me that the captain ran aground, tipped over a luxury liner and abandoned ship before the some of the passengers, I'm not thinking Titanic, I'm thinking Exxon Valdez. It's a little more recent and a little more relevant. Think people spill instead of oil spill. It also makes me think of The Poseidon Adventure when you tell me a ship "tipped over". I'm sure Gene Hackman would have been there to lead people to safety but somebody hit him while he was bike riding last week. You probably didn't hear about his because he's okay, just bumped and bruised and nothing you could compare to Stephen King and make us all paranoid about commuting the local roadways.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Mexican Omelet
Good morning Mr. and Mrs. America and all the ships at sea. Today, I'm going to tell you about a new omelet recipe I came up with a little while ago. I call it the Mexican omelet just because it contains ingredients that are traditionally Mexican and I figured if there can be a Spanish omelet, why not a Mexican?
First, get 1 cup of Chorizo and start browning it in a skillet. I'm using beef Chorizo but pork works too.
While that's going on, crack 3 eggs into a bowl. Today I'm using Hy-Vee's brown eggs just because they were on sale. You can adjust this to your needs but I figure 3 usually feeds two people or one person who's really hungry. Next, get a fairly small amount of sour cream and add it to the eggs. Personally, I'm using AE's Mexican style sour cream because I still have some left over from the enchiladas I made last week. You'll also want to add 1/4 teaspoon of garlic powder and then a couple of dashes of black and red pepper blend, chili powder, thyme, and Southwest seasoning. Whisk together for a few minutes until the Chorizo is browned.
Turn off the Chorizo and pour the egg mixture into a skillet big enough to let it spread out. Set your heat low and drain off the Chorizo.
When the eggs start to stand up, check the edges with your spatula. If they come up easily, you're ready to add the Chorizo, 1 cup of shredded queso fresco or you can cheat it and use the Mexican blend of shredded cheese, and three tablespoons of refried black beans.
Fold over one side of the omelet and let it cook for a couple of minutes. Check the cheese, make sure it's melting. If it is, flip it and let that side cook for a couple of minutes.
Turn off the heat, divide up and serve. A good side dish is refried black beans with some cheese melted on top. Throw in a Bloody Maria and you have a damn fine breakfast. Enjoy.
First, get 1 cup of Chorizo and start browning it in a skillet. I'm using beef Chorizo but pork works too.
While that's going on, crack 3 eggs into a bowl. Today I'm using Hy-Vee's brown eggs just because they were on sale. You can adjust this to your needs but I figure 3 usually feeds two people or one person who's really hungry. Next, get a fairly small amount of sour cream and add it to the eggs. Personally, I'm using AE's Mexican style sour cream because I still have some left over from the enchiladas I made last week. You'll also want to add 1/4 teaspoon of garlic powder and then a couple of dashes of black and red pepper blend, chili powder, thyme, and Southwest seasoning. Whisk together for a few minutes until the Chorizo is browned.
Turn off the Chorizo and pour the egg mixture into a skillet big enough to let it spread out. Set your heat low and drain off the Chorizo.
When the eggs start to stand up, check the edges with your spatula. If they come up easily, you're ready to add the Chorizo, 1 cup of shredded queso fresco or you can cheat it and use the Mexican blend of shredded cheese, and three tablespoons of refried black beans.
Fold over one side of the omelet and let it cook for a couple of minutes. Check the cheese, make sure it's melting. If it is, flip it and let that side cook for a couple of minutes.
Turn off the heat, divide up and serve. A good side dish is refried black beans with some cheese melted on top. Throw in a Bloody Maria and you have a damn fine breakfast. Enjoy.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Friday The 13th
In 1980, Sean S. Cunningham changed the way you watch horror films. Since the invention of film, people tried to keep you in suspense. They've asked you to figure out who done it, they've tried to frighten you with monsters and they've shown you maniacal killers on the loose. Taking a page from Agatha Christie and another from H.G. Lewis, Cunningham created what would become, the slasher film.
Two years prior, John Carpenter had the boogey man stalking babysitters and audiences loved it. Cunningham just wanted to make a similar trip to the bank, little did he realise what he would start.
The storyline was classic: a group of strangers are thrown together in an isolated area and one by one they start disappearing. The twist is that you see how they are dispatched in a close up shot with emphasis on realism. Sure, exploitation films had been cutting people up for years over multiple drive-in and grind house theater screens but you could tell it was ketchup, tomato soup and red tempera paint.
So now, grab a six pack of your favorite adult beverage, play some strip Monopoly and enjoy a piece of history.
Two years prior, John Carpenter had the boogey man stalking babysitters and audiences loved it. Cunningham just wanted to make a similar trip to the bank, little did he realise what he would start.
The storyline was classic: a group of strangers are thrown together in an isolated area and one by one they start disappearing. The twist is that you see how they are dispatched in a close up shot with emphasis on realism. Sure, exploitation films had been cutting people up for years over multiple drive-in and grind house theater screens but you could tell it was ketchup, tomato soup and red tempera paint.
So now, grab a six pack of your favorite adult beverage, play some strip Monopoly and enjoy a piece of history.
Twice as thin
The Thin Man
William Powell and Myrna Loy play Nick and Nora Charles in this adaptation of Dashiell Hammett's classic who done it. Though watered down slightly, the story retains the wit and humor of the novel. Also, while it probably wasn't the first to do so, the movie makes good use of the "killer is sitting among us" dinner party that wasn't in the book.
Although directed by the legendary W.S. Van Dyke, this movie wasn't expected to do that well. Much to the surprise of all concerned, the audiences loved it. So much so that after a flood of letters, they made five more films. There was also a television series in the late 1950's but Powell and Loy were not in it.
Traditionally, I'll bring this one out around Christmas time and have a dry martini shaken to a waltz time but you can probably enjoy this one anytime.
After The Thin Man
Picking up where the other one left off, Nick and Nora make it home just in time for New Years Eve. This time it seems that one of Nora's relations is missing and the family wants Nick to look into it. It's full of promise and there's even an up and coming Jimmy Stewart in the cast but it plays up the laughs too much and there's even a subplot with Asta and Mrs. Asta that just bogs it down and makes it cutesy. This was my first venture all the way through with the sequels. I don't think I'll continue.
William Powell and Myrna Loy play Nick and Nora Charles in this adaptation of Dashiell Hammett's classic who done it. Though watered down slightly, the story retains the wit and humor of the novel. Also, while it probably wasn't the first to do so, the movie makes good use of the "killer is sitting among us" dinner party that wasn't in the book.
Although directed by the legendary W.S. Van Dyke, this movie wasn't expected to do that well. Much to the surprise of all concerned, the audiences loved it. So much so that after a flood of letters, they made five more films. There was also a television series in the late 1950's but Powell and Loy were not in it.
Traditionally, I'll bring this one out around Christmas time and have a dry martini shaken to a waltz time but you can probably enjoy this one anytime.
After The Thin Man
Picking up where the other one left off, Nick and Nora make it home just in time for New Years Eve. This time it seems that one of Nora's relations is missing and the family wants Nick to look into it. It's full of promise and there's even an up and coming Jimmy Stewart in the cast but it plays up the laughs too much and there's even a subplot with Asta and Mrs. Asta that just bogs it down and makes it cutesy. This was my first venture all the way through with the sequels. I don't think I'll continue.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
This is the latest adaptation of John le Carre's famous spy thriller. This time around Gary Oldman plays George Smiley, the spy forced into retirement but then secretly called back to find a Russian mole in his former chain of command.
While the acting is good and le Carre certainly knows his subject matter having served with British Intelligence during the cold war, I still found this movie to be interesting but not great. If you're a fan of detail overloaded spy thrillers and you liked The Russia House and The Little Drummer Girl, then by all means go now and see it. Personally, it's not my bag.
While the acting is good and le Carre certainly knows his subject matter having served with British Intelligence during the cold war, I still found this movie to be interesting but not great. If you're a fan of detail overloaded spy thrillers and you liked The Russia House and The Little Drummer Girl, then by all means go now and see it. Personally, it's not my bag.
Gaslight
This classic 1944 mystery features Charles Boyer as Ingrid Bergman's husband who is trying to convince her she's going insane. Joseph Cotten, a Scotland Yard detective with an American accent(?), starts to look into things when he notices the couple have occupied her childhood home where her mother died.
George Cukor directs this adaptation of Patrick Hamilton's play. This was also Angela Lansbury's first movie. It's worth a look if you get the chance.
George Cukor directs this adaptation of Patrick Hamilton's play. This was also Angela Lansbury's first movie. It's worth a look if you get the chance.
Red Riding: In The Year Of Our Lord 1974
A young journalist is investigating a missing girl. While researching, he discovers similar cases going back a few years. He begins to suspect police corruption as they start giving him the run around. Things get even hotter when the missing child is found dead at a construction site.
This is the first of a trilogy based on David Peace's novels. It's well acted but personally, I felt it kind of wandered around. Maybe it all makes sense once you've seen all three but this one didn't do much for me.
This is the first of a trilogy based on David Peace's novels. It's well acted but personally, I felt it kind of wandered around. Maybe it all makes sense once you've seen all three but this one didn't do much for me.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
The Hoodlum Saint
Terry O'Neill (William Powell) returns from the war and finds the job market a little dry. After spending the last of his money to bail his three friends out of jail, he's now desperate to find something fast. He crashes a wedding for a meal and a chance to meet prospective employers. He ends up meeting Esther Williams. Luckily for him, she has an uncle in the newspaper business.
After using the paper to tear down a local fat cat banker, O'Neill jumps ship and goes to work at the bank. He eventually makes Vice President but it has tainted his view of his former life. His three friends haven't seen him in months and when one of them gets in a jam, he agrees to help one more time if they'll leave him alone. Instead of taking credit though, in an effort to get his friend to stand on his own two feet, Terry convinces him that Dismas, the patron saint of criminals, is responsible.
When the stock market crashes, Terry loses everything but his friend now spreads the word of Dismas. After seeing the collection plate at one of the "sermons", a couple of other past acquaintances start a Dismas racket where they keep 2/3 of everything collected for the poor. Feeling responsible for the whole Dismas thing, Terry now has to make amends and shut down the scam.
This one is worth a look.
After using the paper to tear down a local fat cat banker, O'Neill jumps ship and goes to work at the bank. He eventually makes Vice President but it has tainted his view of his former life. His three friends haven't seen him in months and when one of them gets in a jam, he agrees to help one more time if they'll leave him alone. Instead of taking credit though, in an effort to get his friend to stand on his own two feet, Terry convinces him that Dismas, the patron saint of criminals, is responsible.
When the stock market crashes, Terry loses everything but his friend now spreads the word of Dismas. After seeing the collection plate at one of the "sermons", a couple of other past acquaintances start a Dismas racket where they keep 2/3 of everything collected for the poor. Feeling responsible for the whole Dismas thing, Terry now has to make amends and shut down the scam.
This one is worth a look.
Good Guys Wear Black
Chuck Norris was hitting his stride as an action hero in this 1978 release. This was also his second time in a leading role. He plays John T. Booker, a former C.I.A. black operative who's now trying to figure out why men from his last mission are being killed off after five years.
Ted Post directed this movie that seems to be the Godfather of the '80's action genre and beyond. You can see the basis of practically every character from John Matrix to Jack Bauer in this film. I cant say that I'm a huge fan of this movie since I've always considered Chuck's Golden Age to span from 1979 to 1986 with the exception of An Eye For An Eye.
The first two Missing In Action films I've always considered to be the re-birth of his career when he started working for Cannon. They were the necessary evils to get to Invasion U.S.A. and The Delta Force. I know that it's popular to bag on Firewalker but truth be told, I don't hate it. I saw it theatrically in 1986 and haven't seen it since, it just didn't make that strong of an impression on me. I also happened to see The Wraith right after it so the palate was cleansed before it could sink in.
Ted Post directed this movie that seems to be the Godfather of the '80's action genre and beyond. You can see the basis of practically every character from John Matrix to Jack Bauer in this film. I cant say that I'm a huge fan of this movie since I've always considered Chuck's Golden Age to span from 1979 to 1986 with the exception of An Eye For An Eye.
The first two Missing In Action films I've always considered to be the re-birth of his career when he started working for Cannon. They were the necessary evils to get to Invasion U.S.A. and The Delta Force. I know that it's popular to bag on Firewalker but truth be told, I don't hate it. I saw it theatrically in 1986 and haven't seen it since, it just didn't make that strong of an impression on me. I also happened to see The Wraith right after it so the palate was cleansed before it could sink in.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Man In The Chair
Cameron is a high school student who's only goal in life is to make a movie. One day while attending a screening of Touch Of Evil at the local retro house (yeah right, a high school kid in a retro house by choice, only in Hollywood), he meets Flash madden (superbly played by Christopher Plummer). Flash is an old school gaffer who now spends his days drinking Wild Turkey and brow beating projectionists and theater managers (I'm convinced this will be how I'll spend my twilight years).
With an opportunity to win a scholarship to film school, Cameron asks Flash if he'll help him make a movie. Admittedly, it's a cliched story but the details and the all star cast keep it from being cheesy. On a quick and impressive side note, writer/ director Michael Schroeder got his start as First A.D. on Revenge Of The Ninja, The Big Easy, and Shakedown. He was also Second Unit Director on Avenging Force. I definitely recommend this one.
With an opportunity to win a scholarship to film school, Cameron asks Flash if he'll help him make a movie. Admittedly, it's a cliched story but the details and the all star cast keep it from being cheesy. On a quick and impressive side note, writer/ director Michael Schroeder got his start as First A.D. on Revenge Of The Ninja, The Big Easy, and Shakedown. He was also Second Unit Director on Avenging Force. I definitely recommend this one.
Public Sex
A free lance journalist is attempting to do a story on doggers, or people who have sex in public places. He just wants to make journalistic observations but his roommate keeps telling him that the best way to find out about it is to be an actual participant. After trying it, he becomes more hesitant about about the story but his girlfriend becomes more drawn to it.
Like most British comedies, it has it's moments of humor but it's not consistent. It is, however, interesting and entertaining. If you get the chance, check it out, there's much worse out there.
Like most British comedies, it has it's moments of humor but it's not consistent. It is, however, interesting and entertaining. If you get the chance, check it out, there's much worse out there.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
The Coffee Diaries-Chapter 2
Another Sunday, another coffee shop. This time around it's The Broadway Cafe located in Westport. I haven't been there in a while so it was interesting to return. They do a nice business for a Sunday morning. I asked the girl behind the counter what was good and she recommended a Rwanda Gisenya. This is a washed bourbon peaberry.
The peaberry is interesting in that it's smaller than your average coffee bean. The bourbon wash is a process that I'm still trying to learn more about. I have to admit that the taste is pretty good. It's bold like a dark roast but lets you know it's there without kicking you in the mouth.
The Broadway Cafe roasts their coffee locally (literally about two and a half blocks down the street) so they can insure freshness. They're their own brand and sell retail. If you get the chance, stop by and have a cup.
While I have found an impressive cup of coffee, the quest continues...
The peaberry is interesting in that it's smaller than your average coffee bean. The bourbon wash is a process that I'm still trying to learn more about. I have to admit that the taste is pretty good. It's bold like a dark roast but lets you know it's there without kicking you in the mouth.
The Broadway Cafe roasts their coffee locally (literally about two and a half blocks down the street) so they can insure freshness. They're their own brand and sell retail. If you get the chance, stop by and have a cup.
While I have found an impressive cup of coffee, the quest continues...
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Mail Order Bride
Lee Carey (Keir Dullea) has been a drunken gambling womanizer since his father passed away. Will Lane (Buddy Ebsen) recently learned of his friends passing and has come to town to fulfill his obligation as trustee of the estate. Lee can have the ranch and do as he pleases as soon as he can convince Will that he's responsible enough. Will figures that the fastest way to do this is for Lee to get married to Annie Boley (Lois Nettleton) whom he finds in a mail order catalog.
Made in 1964, this western comedy also features Warren Oates, William Smith and Denver Pyle. It's definitely worth a look.
Made in 1964, this western comedy also features Warren Oates, William Smith and Denver Pyle. It's definitely worth a look.
Last Summer In The Hamptons
The title of this 1995 Henry Jaglom film sets the stage, so to speak, for the story of a family who have fallen on financial hardship and will be losing their house in East Hampton, Long Island. The theatrical family is known for putting on an original production each year and this is the final weekend for rehearsal. As the viewer, you start to wonder if this group of wine drinking neurotics will be able to pull this off with the slow unraveling of the family ties.
The Lucky Ones
It's a shame that this movie wasn't given more of an opportunity to find an audience. If you missed it on the festival circuit or weren't in one of the selected cities for it's limited theatrical run, then you have to hope you're lucky enough to randomly come across it on cable.
The story deals with three soldiers who are returning from Iraq and find themselves thrown together on a cross country road trip. All three are returning due to injuries but only Tim Robbins was discharged, Rachel McAdams and Michael Pena are on 30 day leave.
It's pretty well written as far as the characters are concerned. The resolution for one of the characters is an impossibility but if you can overlook it, you'll make it remaining three minutes to the credits.
The story deals with three soldiers who are returning from Iraq and find themselves thrown together on a cross country road trip. All three are returning due to injuries but only Tim Robbins was discharged, Rachel McAdams and Michael Pena are on 30 day leave.
It's pretty well written as far as the characters are concerned. The resolution for one of the characters is an impossibility but if you can overlook it, you'll make it remaining three minutes to the credits.
Double Wedding
I can appreciate the romantic screwball comedies of the 1930's. Also, as far as I'm concerned, William Powell is The Man. I'll even go as far as to say that a William Powell film is like sex, when it's good it's great and when it's bad, it's still a William Powell film. That's the best way I can sum up my feelings on Double Wedding.
It was originally written for the stage as Nagy szerelem by Ferenc Molnar, but something must have gotten lost in the translation because about half way through the movie things just start happening out of convenience instead of necessity. I haven't read it but it's my guess that the play has a kind of The Importance Of Being Earnest vibe to it where the movie has a why are these two suddenly together? kind of vibe.
The cast is great with Powell playing a Bohemian vagrant and Myrna Loy as an uptight business woman who controls the lives of her sister, Florence Rice, and her spineless fiancee, John Beal. It's directed by studio favorite Richard Thorpe, who directed 184 films in his career including a handful of Tarzan films and Elvis Presley's best movie, Jailhouse Rock. It's just the script that feels like the square peg being driven through the round hole that fouls everything up. Well, like I said earlier, it's still a William Powell film.
It was originally written for the stage as Nagy szerelem by Ferenc Molnar, but something must have gotten lost in the translation because about half way through the movie things just start happening out of convenience instead of necessity. I haven't read it but it's my guess that the play has a kind of The Importance Of Being Earnest vibe to it where the movie has a why are these two suddenly together? kind of vibe.
The cast is great with Powell playing a Bohemian vagrant and Myrna Loy as an uptight business woman who controls the lives of her sister, Florence Rice, and her spineless fiancee, John Beal. It's directed by studio favorite Richard Thorpe, who directed 184 films in his career including a handful of Tarzan films and Elvis Presley's best movie, Jailhouse Rock. It's just the script that feels like the square peg being driven through the round hole that fouls everything up. Well, like I said earlier, it's still a William Powell film.
The Matador
This 2008 documentary follows David "El Fandi" Fandila, one of Spain's most celebrated bullfighters, as he tries to enter the exclusive club of being the thirteenth person to fight 100 bulls in a season.
It's pretty fascinating to see everything these guys go through just to become a matador but to be able to achieve rock star status like El Fandi, who was 21 at the time, it will change the way you look at bull fighting.
No matter which one, if you're a sports enthusiast, you will dig this movie.
It's pretty fascinating to see everything these guys go through just to become a matador but to be able to achieve rock star status like El Fandi, who was 21 at the time, it will change the way you look at bull fighting.
No matter which one, if you're a sports enthusiast, you will dig this movie.
Cheese & Mushroom Omelet
Good morning America, how are you? I hope you're hungry because I have a recipe for an omelet that I think you'll enjoy. I once read somewhere that your ability to make an omelet reflects on your ability to cook in general. In the spirit of self improvement, I keep trying to perfect the omelet. Today's recipe is nothing overly special but it uses what I have and besides, you have to start somewhere.
I start off with 3 Hy-Vee brand eggs that I crack into the mixing bowl. Next, I put in a sliver of cream cheese. You don't need too much and it helps to make the eggs fluffier. Add 1/4 teaspoon of garlic powder. This adds a little flavor and it's also good for you. Finally, there's the 2 dashes of black pepper. Whisk it all together for 4 minutes and pour it into a pan big enough to spread out the mixture. Don't forget to use some non-stick spray or you will be VERY disappointed in about five minutes. Your heat should be low and your cook time slow.
In a smaller pan, pour a little olive oil to coat the bottom and have just a little puddle. Your heat here will be medium high to high. After it heats up, add 3/4 cup of mushrooms and stir frequently. When they turn brown and get tender, they're done. Should be about 3 minutes, give or take.
Check your eggs. By this point they should be fairly set up. Check the edges and make sure.
Add the mushrooms and 1 cup of cheese. You can use what ever kind you want. I used a combination of Mozzarella and Mexican blend because I had just enough of both but not enough of each.
Once you've added the ingredients, slide the spatula under one side and flip it over upon itself. Let it sit there for a minute of so, until you see the cheese start melting. Now for the tricky part, slip your spatula under the open side of the omelet and flip to the other side. I wish I could tell you some age old sage-like wisdom but in reality, I'm lucky to get this right 92% of the time. To paraphrase The Marlboro Man-Don't think, just flip the bastard.
Traditionally, omelet's are meant to be shared but since my girlfriend sleeps through breakfast, I ate all of this myself. If you're sharing, don't forget some kind of side dish. I recommend Sweet Potato hash browns. It's easier than you think and you only need one sweet potato. Shred the potato and cook it up in some olive oil like you did with the mushrooms.
Of course, coffee or a Bloody Mary is the perfect breakfast (read as any) time beverage, or you can get your dose of anti-oxidants with a cup of Pomegranate green tea. See you next week, Enjoy!
I start off with 3 Hy-Vee brand eggs that I crack into the mixing bowl. Next, I put in a sliver of cream cheese. You don't need too much and it helps to make the eggs fluffier. Add 1/4 teaspoon of garlic powder. This adds a little flavor and it's also good for you. Finally, there's the 2 dashes of black pepper. Whisk it all together for 4 minutes and pour it into a pan big enough to spread out the mixture. Don't forget to use some non-stick spray or you will be VERY disappointed in about five minutes. Your heat should be low and your cook time slow.
In a smaller pan, pour a little olive oil to coat the bottom and have just a little puddle. Your heat here will be medium high to high. After it heats up, add 3/4 cup of mushrooms and stir frequently. When they turn brown and get tender, they're done. Should be about 3 minutes, give or take.
Check your eggs. By this point they should be fairly set up. Check the edges and make sure.
Add the mushrooms and 1 cup of cheese. You can use what ever kind you want. I used a combination of Mozzarella and Mexican blend because I had just enough of both but not enough of each.
Once you've added the ingredients, slide the spatula under one side and flip it over upon itself. Let it sit there for a minute of so, until you see the cheese start melting. Now for the tricky part, slip your spatula under the open side of the omelet and flip to the other side. I wish I could tell you some age old sage-like wisdom but in reality, I'm lucky to get this right 92% of the time. To paraphrase The Marlboro Man-Don't think, just flip the bastard.
Traditionally, omelet's are meant to be shared but since my girlfriend sleeps through breakfast, I ate all of this myself. If you're sharing, don't forget some kind of side dish. I recommend Sweet Potato hash browns. It's easier than you think and you only need one sweet potato. Shred the potato and cook it up in some olive oil like you did with the mushrooms.
Of course, coffee or a Bloody Mary is the perfect breakfast (read as any) time beverage, or you can get your dose of anti-oxidants with a cup of Pomegranate green tea. See you next week, Enjoy!
Friday, January 6, 2012
Tootsie
Those of you born after 1982 may remember this as an episode of Family Guy. The rest of us remember it as the flip side of the coin when trying to decide whether to see Tootsie or Gandhi.
Dustin Hoffman plays an actor whom nobody wants to work with. When there's a role available on a popular daytime drama, he decides to audition. The only problem is that the role is female. No problem, he can play a woman. The problems come after he gets the role.
His roommate (Bill Murray) and his agent (director Sydney Pollack) are the only ones who know he's both Michael Dorsey and Dorothy Michaels. His girlfriend (Teri Garr) thinks he's seeing another woman and he's constantly fighting off advances from various men on the show and the woman he's attracted to (Jessica Lange) thinks he's a lesbian.
If it's been a while since you've seen it, give it a look, it still holds up pretty well. You can show it to somebody who only knows it as a Family Guy episode and see it again for the first time, just make sure she turns her phone off long enough to get the joke.
Dustin Hoffman plays an actor whom nobody wants to work with. When there's a role available on a popular daytime drama, he decides to audition. The only problem is that the role is female. No problem, he can play a woman. The problems come after he gets the role.
His roommate (Bill Murray) and his agent (director Sydney Pollack) are the only ones who know he's both Michael Dorsey and Dorothy Michaels. His girlfriend (Teri Garr) thinks he's seeing another woman and he's constantly fighting off advances from various men on the show and the woman he's attracted to (Jessica Lange) thinks he's a lesbian.
If it's been a while since you've seen it, give it a look, it still holds up pretty well. You can show it to somebody who only knows it as a Family Guy episode and see it again for the first time, just make sure she turns her phone off long enough to get the joke.
Shaft
Who's the black private dick who's a sex machine to all the chicks? Damn right, I'm talking about Shaft, John Shaft. Hot on the heels of the popularity of Melvin Van Peebles' Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song, MGM put out Shaft, an adaptation of the first in a series of detective novels by Ernest Tidyman.
Directed by famed photographer Gordon Parks and written by Tidyman and TV writer John D.F. Black, this movie opened the door for what became known as the Blaxploitation film genre.
The film made an instant star out of Richard Roundtree who's only previous film work had been the Candid Camera movie, What Do You Say To A Naked Lady? He would go on to play the character in three sequels and a short lived TV series.
For the uninitiated, the storyline deals with the events that follow the kidnapping of a crime boss' daughter as he hires John Shaft to find out who did it. If you get the chance, you should also read the Tidyman novels, you wont be disappointed.
Directed by famed photographer Gordon Parks and written by Tidyman and TV writer John D.F. Black, this movie opened the door for what became known as the Blaxploitation film genre.
The film made an instant star out of Richard Roundtree who's only previous film work had been the Candid Camera movie, What Do You Say To A Naked Lady? He would go on to play the character in three sequels and a short lived TV series.
For the uninitiated, the storyline deals with the events that follow the kidnapping of a crime boss' daughter as he hires John Shaft to find out who did it. If you get the chance, you should also read the Tidyman novels, you wont be disappointed.
Blue Velvet
While doing some research, I discovered that there is another cut of this movie that's fifty minutes longer. It apparently came out on Blu-ray. I was just happy to find a version that wasn't edited for television and modified to fit my screen. I haven't seen this movie in probably ten years, it's nice to see that it still holds up.
It also doesn't seem possible that this movie came out in 1986. Man, has it really been that long? This was Kyle MacLachlan's second film. His first being Dune, also directed by David Lynch. You know it's good because he's not playing the villain. You MacLachlan fans know what I'm talking about.
The villain in this movie is the iconic Frank Booth, played to perfection by Dennis Hopper. I think every writer in Hollywood tried to come up with a reason for their character to huff amyl nitrate after seeing Hoppers performance.
This kind of foreshadows Twin Peaks in a way because you find yourself wondering how nobody in this small town seems to know about this deranged crime lord but yet the movie still works. I guess even small town America has a side that everybody closes their eyes to.
One other interesting factoid about this movie, apparently Dino De Laurentiis had to create De Laurentiis Entertainment Group because the film was so controversial that no other distributor wanted to be associated with it. Their loss.
If you haven't seen it for a while or if you've never seen, go get it. If you happen to find the full length Blu-ray, let me know.
It also doesn't seem possible that this movie came out in 1986. Man, has it really been that long? This was Kyle MacLachlan's second film. His first being Dune, also directed by David Lynch. You know it's good because he's not playing the villain. You MacLachlan fans know what I'm talking about.
The villain in this movie is the iconic Frank Booth, played to perfection by Dennis Hopper. I think every writer in Hollywood tried to come up with a reason for their character to huff amyl nitrate after seeing Hoppers performance.
This kind of foreshadows Twin Peaks in a way because you find yourself wondering how nobody in this small town seems to know about this deranged crime lord but yet the movie still works. I guess even small town America has a side that everybody closes their eyes to.
One other interesting factoid about this movie, apparently Dino De Laurentiis had to create De Laurentiis Entertainment Group because the film was so controversial that no other distributor wanted to be associated with it. Their loss.
If you haven't seen it for a while or if you've never seen, go get it. If you happen to find the full length Blu-ray, let me know.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
The Coffee Diaries-Chapter One
As a coffee drinker I've always wondered who in this town has the best cup. Where does one go to get the taste of sweet Nirvana that is the hot brown liquid of the Gods? You may call it a New Years resolution but I call it finally getting up off of my ass and going out into the territories to hunt and gather in the tradition of my forefathers.
Each week I plan to go to a different coffee house and seek out the best cup around. Since I live in the Kansas City area, my research will mainly be based on my findings here. Consulting the latest Yellow Pages, I figure I'll just start at the top and work my way down.
Today, I'm at Black Dog Coffeehouse in Lenexa. Upon entering, I am greeted by two guys behind the counter. I ask them for the specialty of the house and they start to look at their shoes and mumble something about making any drink on the chalk board behind them. Now, admittedly, it did say House Specialties across the top so they weren't completely outside their rights to treat me like a jack ass. However, once I refined my search and pressed them for what was good or a favorite, I noticed that the glaze over their eyes didn't really clear.
This is kind of like the look I used to get when I walked into a video store and asked for a movie that wasn't on the New Release wall. It's somewhere between the deer in the headlights and the look the dog gives you after dinner. They're startled by the approach and confused as to how they got there.
Realizing that I, the customer, was looking to them, the alleged knowledgeable source, for some guidance in this matter, they told me that the John Brown was a popular item. Having the answer I came for, I ordered a large after finding out that it's not necessarily a drink but more of a particular roast of coffee.
When I asked them what kind of coffee it was, the glaze came back. I was looking for Colombian, Ethiopian, you know, some kind of answer. "I think it's a medium roast, I'm not sure, I'm not really a coffee expert." Between the two of us, he's in more of a position to be an expert than I am. I'm just a frustrated, unemployed writer, this kid works in a coffeehouse. Coffee is his livelihood, it's just my hobby.
To be fair, I Googled John Brown coffee before starting this and ran across the roasters website. They had some information but no real knowledge about what I was drinking. As an industry insider though, I would think these guys would have access to information that the general public doesn't. They are the face of the product and have to be able to sell it and answer questions from people like me. Is this what happened to the video store clerks after Netfix killed off Blockbuster? Do I expect too much thinking that somebody who lives and dies by the bean should know something about it? Stay tuned folks, this is only the first chapter.
One quick thing before I go, despite what you've read about my experience, Black Dog is a pretty decent place, what the staff lacks in knowledge they make up for in courtesy and the John Brown roast is satisfying, however, the search continues...
Each week I plan to go to a different coffee house and seek out the best cup around. Since I live in the Kansas City area, my research will mainly be based on my findings here. Consulting the latest Yellow Pages, I figure I'll just start at the top and work my way down.
Today, I'm at Black Dog Coffeehouse in Lenexa. Upon entering, I am greeted by two guys behind the counter. I ask them for the specialty of the house and they start to look at their shoes and mumble something about making any drink on the chalk board behind them. Now, admittedly, it did say House Specialties across the top so they weren't completely outside their rights to treat me like a jack ass. However, once I refined my search and pressed them for what was good or a favorite, I noticed that the glaze over their eyes didn't really clear.
This is kind of like the look I used to get when I walked into a video store and asked for a movie that wasn't on the New Release wall. It's somewhere between the deer in the headlights and the look the dog gives you after dinner. They're startled by the approach and confused as to how they got there.
Realizing that I, the customer, was looking to them, the alleged knowledgeable source, for some guidance in this matter, they told me that the John Brown was a popular item. Having the answer I came for, I ordered a large after finding out that it's not necessarily a drink but more of a particular roast of coffee.
When I asked them what kind of coffee it was, the glaze came back. I was looking for Colombian, Ethiopian, you know, some kind of answer. "I think it's a medium roast, I'm not sure, I'm not really a coffee expert." Between the two of us, he's in more of a position to be an expert than I am. I'm just a frustrated, unemployed writer, this kid works in a coffeehouse. Coffee is his livelihood, it's just my hobby.
To be fair, I Googled John Brown coffee before starting this and ran across the roasters website. They had some information but no real knowledge about what I was drinking. As an industry insider though, I would think these guys would have access to information that the general public doesn't. They are the face of the product and have to be able to sell it and answer questions from people like me. Is this what happened to the video store clerks after Netfix killed off Blockbuster? Do I expect too much thinking that somebody who lives and dies by the bean should know something about it? Stay tuned folks, this is only the first chapter.
One quick thing before I go, despite what you've read about my experience, Black Dog is a pretty decent place, what the staff lacks in knowledge they make up for in courtesy and the John Brown roast is satisfying, however, the search continues...
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