Aggressive Ignorance
"Can I get a couple of orders of chicken wings?" "I'm sorry, the kitchen is closed." "Okay, but I just need a couple of orders of wings." "Sir, the kitchen closed forty-five minutes ago, the fryers are cold by this point." "Well, can I just get a burger?" "The. Kitchen. Is. Closed." "So you're saying that I can't get any food?" "That is what closed means."
lv mns nvr hving to txt I'm srry :(
A couple walk into a bar...they sit down at a table and pull out their phones. They don't speak, just stare into the screen and randomly press buttons. The waitress comes up and they order drinks and then return to their phones. After about fifteen minutes she speaks, only to show him something on her phone. He looks up and comments then they both go back to staring at the screens. This went on for about forty minutes before one of them spoke again.
I can't help but wonder why they even bother to leave the house. They could just as easily stay home, play some music they've downloaded, fix a drink from any of the bartending sites (although from the looks of it they just had vodka and Red Bull) and had a more meaningful conversation through texting. But maybe that's just me.
Friday, March 14, 2014
Saturday, March 8, 2014
Notes Of A Drunk Whisperer
Thursday night-front door. It was my turn to sit at the front door and check i.d.s. The night was a little slow and most of the patrons were older so it was a little tedious with Sports Center on t.v. and the band on break. Three people walk in, all of them quiet and unassuming. Together, they probably weighed 230 pounds. The shortest one in front was on the androgynous side with short spiked hair, soft featured face and a non-descript leather jacket that hid whatever body shape this person had. From the i.d. I finally figured out he was a guy. The next person had longish hair that covered part of the face but his i.d. was good so I waved him through. The third was a head taller than the rest, even without the modest platform shoes. Mid thigh skirt, tights, heavy jacket zipped up against the cold. Plain Jane on an evening out with friends. When I looked at the i.d. my first thought was that she had a friends and just grabbed the wrong one. I did a cursory glance just to save time when the person showed up. Date checks, hologram checks, picture is somebody with short dark hair and scrub brush on the chin. As I looked up to ask for the other i.d. I hear this tenor voice come out of her face say "That's an old picture". I double check the facial features and discover he's right, that's his i.d.
I've checked drag queens and I can understand that they probably can't get their photo taken in a wig and make up but this person was not in drag. To me, it just makes sense that they could spend a few bucks and get a new i.d. with a current picture, maybe that's just me.
Friday night-side door. It's early in the evening, the d.j. just started a little while ago. Being First Friday, it's a little slow. To keep myself alert I start looking for a blue eyed brunette. They're pretty rare. A woman walks by with long dark hair and curves in all the right places. She smiles at me as she walks down the stairs and I smile back. No harm in being friendly. I only saw the side of her face so I'm not sure what color her eyes are but when she comes back up the stairs she'll be facing me in good light.
When she reaches the top of the stairs, she stops and I can't help but notice that her eyes are hazel; the search continues. She turns towards me and walks forward. "Would you like to dance?" This is not a question I get asked, especially at work. "I'm tempted to say yes but I have to hang out back here and work." There's another exchange and she goes back to the dance floor.
A little while later, at the opposite end of the spectrum... This girl walks around the corner and waves at me. I wave back. She's probably all of twenty one and a half. "Hey, I've seen you here like six times. My friends and I come here sometimes." "It's nice to be remembered." "I tried a few times to get your attention to say hi but you ignored me." "It gets loud in here and I don't always hear you." "Yeah, I was like hey grandpa, and you just kept on walking." "Really, that didn't get my attention? That's surprising." "I know, right? Anyway, I just wanted to come over and say hi." "Hi, watch your step going down the stairs." "Okay."
Not long after that, I see the brunette leave with some guy who looked older than me. Story of my life, I meet some hot chick with daddy issues and I have to work. Oh well, there's always tomorrow night.
I've checked drag queens and I can understand that they probably can't get their photo taken in a wig and make up but this person was not in drag. To me, it just makes sense that they could spend a few bucks and get a new i.d. with a current picture, maybe that's just me.
Friday night-side door. It's early in the evening, the d.j. just started a little while ago. Being First Friday, it's a little slow. To keep myself alert I start looking for a blue eyed brunette. They're pretty rare. A woman walks by with long dark hair and curves in all the right places. She smiles at me as she walks down the stairs and I smile back. No harm in being friendly. I only saw the side of her face so I'm not sure what color her eyes are but when she comes back up the stairs she'll be facing me in good light.
When she reaches the top of the stairs, she stops and I can't help but notice that her eyes are hazel; the search continues. She turns towards me and walks forward. "Would you like to dance?" This is not a question I get asked, especially at work. "I'm tempted to say yes but I have to hang out back here and work." There's another exchange and she goes back to the dance floor.
A little while later, at the opposite end of the spectrum... This girl walks around the corner and waves at me. I wave back. She's probably all of twenty one and a half. "Hey, I've seen you here like six times. My friends and I come here sometimes." "It's nice to be remembered." "I tried a few times to get your attention to say hi but you ignored me." "It gets loud in here and I don't always hear you." "Yeah, I was like hey grandpa, and you just kept on walking." "Really, that didn't get my attention? That's surprising." "I know, right? Anyway, I just wanted to come over and say hi." "Hi, watch your step going down the stairs." "Okay."
Not long after that, I see the brunette leave with some guy who looked older than me. Story of my life, I meet some hot chick with daddy issues and I have to work. Oh well, there's always tomorrow night.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
WTF America?
I feel like I'm getting older but it's the world that's going crazy. When I was a kid, there was a flag in every classroom of my school. In elementary school we said The Pledge of Allegiance every morning. It was just something you did, like the national anthem before sporting events.
In the 1990's everybody started getting all sensitive. Because of the word "God", students no longer said it. I personally don't have any strong religious beliefs so the line about "One nation, under God..." doesn't really bother me. It does bother me that people seem to have forgotten the other part part of that which is "Liberty and justice for all."
Here we are in 2014 and they are taking the American flags out of American schools. There are laws being debated that would legalize discrimination and we're about to have Cold War II. This country used to be a super power, there were captains of industry, a car in every garage and a chicken in every pot. Now, there is nothing being produced in this country except a steady stream of reality t.v. celebutards, there are people starving as we send billions of dollars in relief aid to other countries and we're teaching the next generation to fear anything different and hate what they don't understand.
Aren't we supposed to get smarter with age? Don't things evolve over time? I've defended this country from enemies domestic and abroad but it's starting to feel like we are our own worst enemy. What the fuck, America? Why is it so hard for us to get our shit together?
In the 1990's everybody started getting all sensitive. Because of the word "God", students no longer said it. I personally don't have any strong religious beliefs so the line about "One nation, under God..." doesn't really bother me. It does bother me that people seem to have forgotten the other part part of that which is "Liberty and justice for all."
Here we are in 2014 and they are taking the American flags out of American schools. There are laws being debated that would legalize discrimination and we're about to have Cold War II. This country used to be a super power, there were captains of industry, a car in every garage and a chicken in every pot. Now, there is nothing being produced in this country except a steady stream of reality t.v. celebutards, there are people starving as we send billions of dollars in relief aid to other countries and we're teaching the next generation to fear anything different and hate what they don't understand.
Aren't we supposed to get smarter with age? Don't things evolve over time? I've defended this country from enemies domestic and abroad but it's starting to feel like we are our own worst enemy. What the fuck, America? Why is it so hard for us to get our shit together?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)