Life In The Hole

     Back in the hole. I hate the hole. I either feel nothing or it's rage and anger. So tired of it all. I've always felt like I served some kind of purpose in the world but now I'm just another piece of meat taking up space. Nobody will miss me for long when I'm gone. Work will replace me. I'm easily replaceable. I'll just be one less phone call to return or one less post to read. Nobody wants to hire me or fuck me or talk to me. On a good day they'll look at me. I've lived in the hole for too long.
     Oddly enough, the hole didn't break my spirit. It was after I escaped. Life outside the hole was good. No hatred. No anger. No alienation. You can take the man out of the hole but after 18 years, you'll never take the hole out of the man. After the lies and the pain, you'll never be able to take the man out of the hole either. There's only one way to escape the hole. The dead are fortunate.