Working the side door can have it's moments of tedium and it can let you see the customers at their height of drunken hilarity but it can also give you a chance to meet people in a way that working the floor doesn't. Sometimes people just get tired or they're waiting for their friend to use the bathroom so they'll sit down on the stool next to mine. Some times they're obnoxious, other times they're just making a pit stop before they head out the door into the great American night. This past weekend pretty much ran the gauntlet of my fan club.
Girl number one, I'll call her H to avoid too much confusion but still protect the identities of the innocent, is the best example in recent history of what we'll call the grateful customer. Every door guy has a couple of these stories, the really creative wind up in Penthouse Forum, the honest tend to sound like this. I did a favor for a friend of hers. It had nothing to do with the fact that they were both very cute, it was a judgement call and they put up a better argument, I ruled in their favor. The friend wandered off toward the dance floor, she stuck around and offered to buy me drinks. I don't drink on duty so she improvised and kissed me. It was brief but appreciated. The priceless part of the evening came later when H and her two friends walked by on their way to the restroom. The first time I was dealing with somebody else so she just waved. I waved back and her friend that I hadn't seen yet got a confused look on her face. When they came back upstairs, H fist bumped me and the same friend is still looking confused. They made one more trip to the restroom and on each pass she high fived me. At this point, the confused friend (?) is looking somewhere between disgusted and appalled. The daggers being stared in my direction pretty much told me I was going home alone if she had anything to say about it.
Girl number two, J, is a different variation on the grateful customer. A purse had been turned into me by a woman returning from the restroom. I put it next to me and figured somebody would miss it eventually since there was a set of keys in it. Luckily there was also an i.d. About an hour or so later, these two women come walking up to me, well, to be fair, only one was walking, the other one kind of wobbled. The wobbly one with the empty hands pointed to the purse and said it was hers. I checked the i.d. to verify and handed it back to her. She was so relieved that she practically fell on me, kissing my cheeks numerous times. She was cute so it was fun but she was obviously a couple of shots past sober so I was just happy to get the purse back to her. She sat down on the stool next to me as her friend went downstairs. J then pulled the typical young girl move of trying to dissuade any interest on my part by telling me that her boyfriend would be so upset if she lost her purse. If she was a little more sober I would have either flagged the play or at least warned her that she was dating a gay man. Ladies, this story may work in high school or on anybody under 25 but you can't put the boogie-woogie over on the king of rock-n-roll. As a man, I'm here to tell you that your boyfriend doesn't care about what happens to your purse unless he's trying to accessorize himself properly. It's a purse. We may be sympathetic towards your loss and may even hang out with you as you replace your drivers license but at the end of the day, it's a purse, we don't care. Ever the product of her generation, she then pulled out her phone and became one with the internet. When her friend came back upstairs, they thanked me again and then left. They can be cute yet annoying at that age.
Girl number three, S, is a definite product of her generation but yet still inspires hope that they're not all brainless. S is in her mid 20's and a semi-regular. We first met when I was working side door a few months ago. She just sat down and started talking to me. I'm not sure if she was avoiding the people she was with or if I was just something shiny that grabbed her attention. We probably talked for about a half hour on different subjects. It was refreshing and passed the time. She's come in other times and always seems to check in. I don't think we've had a conversation that lasted less than ten minutes if I'm on side door. She always seems to show up when I least expect her to so it's a pleasant surprise when she's there. I used to feel like her dirty little secret because despite multiple times of her telling me she'd come see me again before she left, it never happened. I just smile and nod when she says this. She introduced me to her boyfriend the other night so I guess I'm not so dirty or secret. This encounter seemed to go better than the last one where they were making out on the dance floor until I walked by and she yells my name and gives me a big hug. We had a five minute conversation on her new job while he went in search of another Miller Lite. The kid has some strange priorities.
The other member of the drunk whisperer fan club is T. Early 20's, amazing legs, great ass and a radiant smile. You can usually find her with a drink in her hand and two to three friends in tow. She's another one that just sat down and started talking to me at the side door. She gets distracted easily but she's a nice person. By the end of our first conversation she was introducing me to her group as her best friend. She puts a spark of life into a dead evening when things are going slow.
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